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PR6035 

Y5Ci+5 

1889 


Ryley,  Madeline  Lucette, 
1868-193^. 


mmmuof  califoknia 

RIVERS}D€ 


phristopher  Junior 


[ADELINE  LUCETTE  RYLEY 


A^UEL  FRENCH,  28-30  West  38th  St^  New  York 


CHRISTOPHER  JUNIOR 


ComeDs  in  jfour  Hcts 


MADELINE   LUCETTE   RYLEY 


Copyright,  1889,  ey  J.  H.  Ryley 


CAUTION. — Amateurs  and  Professionals  are  hereby  warned  that 
"Christopher  Junior,"  being  fully  protected  under  the  copyright  laws 
of  the  United  States,  is  subject  to  royalty,  and  any  one  presenting  the 
play  without  the  consent  of  the  author  or  her  authorized  agent 
will  be  liable  to  the  penalties  by  law  provided.  Application  for  the 
right  to  produce  "Christopher  Junior"  must  be  made  to  Samuel 
French,  28-30  West  38th  St.,  New  York  City. 

All  rights  reserved 


NE^v  York 
SAMUEL  FRENCH 

PUBLISHER 

28-30  WEST  38th  STREET 


London 

SAMUEL  FRENCH,  Ltd. 

2G  Southampton  Street 

STRAND 


EMPIRE  THEATRE,  NEW  YORK. 

Sept.  14,   1895.  PRo<^3? 

FOURTH  ANNUAL  SEASON,    Y$^C  45 

MR.  JOHN  DREW, 

Under  tlie  management  of  Chables  Frohman 

Presenting  a  Comedy  in  Four  Acts,  entitled 

CHRISTOPHER,  JR. 

By  ]Madeli?«^e  Lucette   Ryley. 

CHARACTERS. 

Christopher  Colt,  Jr John  Drew 

Christopher   Colt,   Sr Harey  Harwood. 

Tom  Bellaby Lewis  Baker. 

Major  Hedway Leslie  Allen. 

Mr.  Simpson Arthur  Byron. 

Mr.  Glibb Herbert  Ayeling. 

Job   Joseph  Humphreys. 

Whimper Frank  Lamb. 

Mrs.  Glibb Elsie  de  Wolfe. 

Mrs.  Colt Annie  Adams. 

Nelly Anna  Belmont. 

and 
Dora  Maude  Adams. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act  I. — Christopher,  Jr.'s   apartments   in  Grosvenor   Gar- 
dens, London. 

Act  II. — Christopher,  Sr.'s  reception-room  of  his  house  in 
Devonshire. 

Act  III. — The  Major's  quarters  in  Bombay. 

(Six  weeks  are  supposed  to  elapse) 
Intermission — One  minute. 
Act  IV. — The  same  as  Act  III. 

Time — The  Present, 


CHRISTOPHER  JUNIOR. 


Ferformed  at  Terry's  Theatre,  London,  \ith  Feb.,  1896. 


CHARACTERS. 

Christopher    (Colt)   J/dbury    Sr.  )  j^     j  beauchamp. 

{an  East  Indian  Merchant)  .  .   ) 

Mrs.   (Colt)   Jedbury  {his  Wife) Miss  Emily  Cross. 

Christopher  (Colt)    Jedbury,   Jr.  )      ^      Feedeeick  Keee. 
( their  tson ) ) 

Nelly  {their  Daughter) Miss  Eva  Moore. 

Whimper  {their  Man-servant) Mr.  Gilbert  Farquhar. 

Job  {vaUt  to  Jedbury  Junior). Mr.   L.  Power. 

Major  Hed  way  (a  re^trec^  so'dier)  Mr.  J,  L.  Mackay. 

Dora,  {his  Niece)  Miss  M\ude  Millett. 

Mr  Glibb  {President  of  the  Association  |  j^^_  j   j,   Bellamy. 
for  mifpression  of  Jucenile  (jrainoltng)  } 

Mrs.  Glihh  {Ids  better  half)  Miss  El.sie  Chester. 

Tom  Bellaby  {a  young  Lawyer) Mr.   Arthur  Play  fair. 

Mr    Simpson  {Manager  of  the  1    ^^     Edward    Beecher, 
Bombay  House) j 


Act  I. — Jedbury  Junior's  apartments  in  Grosvenor  Terrace, 

London. 

Act  II. — Jedbury  Senior's  reception  room  in  his  house  in 
Devonshire. 

Act  III.  — The  Major's  quarters  ui  Bombay. 

Act  IV.— The  same. 

Time.  — The  Present. 


When  Christopher  Junior  was  produced  in  London  it 
was  under  the  title  of  Jedbury  Junior,  the  names  of  the 
principal  characters  having  been  changed  to  Jedbury. 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 

in  2008  with  funding  from 

IVIicrosoft  Corporation 


http://www.archive.org/details/christopherjunioOOryle 


CHRISTOPHER  JUNIOR. 


ACT  I. 


ScEMB. — Jedbury  Junior's  apartments.  A  very  shabby 
attic  room— bedroom  communicating  r.,  and  door  to  stairs 
L.  H'^indoio  with  rugged  cnrtains  c.  back.  A  balcony  out- 
side, leading  to  fire  escape.  A  shabby  sofa  R.  ;  ricketty  table 
L.  ;  a  few  chairs  ;  sideboard  L.  back  ;  cups,  saucers,  and 
teapot  on  sideboard,  also  stigar  bowl,  poker  chips,  and  playing 
cards  ;  a  wooden  shelf  loith  brackets,  nails,  hammer,  etc.,  on 
Hoor  near  door  R.  ;  brolcen,  plaster  in  ceiling  over  table  l. 

^At  rise  of  curtain  Job  enters  door  L.  He  carries  large 
pile  of  books,  then  drops  them  on  floor  near  where  shelf 
is  hjing.  He  then  returns  to  door  L.  and  brings  in  a 
large  assortment  of  boots  and  shoes.  These  he  carries 
across  room  till  he  stands  before  open  do.,r  R. ,  when  he 
throtcs  boots  in,  one  by  one.  He  returns  again  to  door 
1.  and  fetches  btiudle  of  photographs  and  several  pipes, 
which  he  carries  to  mantel  over  fireplace  R.  He  arranges 
•photos  and  pipes  on,  mantel.     Knock  at  door  L.) 

Job.  {yoithout  turning)  Not  at  home. 
Enter  Bellaby. 

Bell.  The  deuce  you're  not  ?  {crosses  front  oj  table  to  o.) 

Job.  (turning)  Oh,  it's  you,  sir?  I  beg  pardon,  but  them's 
the  orders. 

Bell,  (looking  round)  What  are  you  doing  here  ? 

Job.  We're  moving,  sir. 

Bell.   Moving  I  Why,  what's  up  1 

Job.  We  are,  sir.  Can't  get  no  higher,  unless  we  go  on 
the  tiles. 

Bell.   Where  is  Mr.  Jedbury  ? 

Job    Just  stepped  out.     He  won't  be  long,  sir. 

Bell.  And  what  has  induced  him  to  exchange  his  flat  on 
the  second  floor  for  this  garret  ? 

Job.  (still  arranging  photos)  Can't  say  exactly,  sir.  (going) 
(crosses  to  L.c.)  Excuse  me,  we  ain't  all  up  yet. 

Bell.  All  right.  Job,  don't  mind  me  ;  I'll  wait  for  a  few 
minutes,  (puts  down  hat  and  walks  to  mantel) 

Job.  Take  a  seat,  sir. 

Job  exits  u, 


4  CHRISTOniER   JUNIOR. 

Bell.  I  wonder  what  Cluis's  little  game  Is.  (takes  up 
phcfo— reads)  "Christopher  Jedbury  Junior  as  Charles 
iSuitAcii."  {takes  another)  H'm  !  "As  John  Mildniay  "  1 
{puts  du ion  photos)  So  he  still  dabbles  in  amateur  theatricals. 

Elder  Nelly  jEDBaRY  l. 

Netxy.  (l.)  {not  seeing  who  it  is)  I  beg  your  pardon. 

Bell,  {tuitis  round)  Good  gracious  !  why,  it's  Nelly ! 
(goes  to  her)  I  beg  your  pardon,  Miss  Jedbury. 

Nelly,  {exietuling  Iter  latnd)  What  !  Tom  ! — Mr.  Tlellaby  1 
I  am  so  glad  to  have  met  you  ;  they  told  me  downstairs  that 
Christopher  wasn't  at  home.  They  almost  refused  to  let  me 
w;?it.  (looks  roiin,d  in  disway)  Oh  1 

liELL.    What's  the  matter  ( 

Nelly,  (going  iip  l.)  We  must  have  made  a  mistake. 
Chris  would  never  live  in   this  room    {goes  vp  l  c.) 

Bell,  (aside)  "What  am  I  to  say?  (down  R.)  Poor  little 
girl,  and  she's  grown  so  pretty,  too  (aloud)  I  expect  it's  on 
account  of  the  air.  (Nelly  comes  dovm)  The  higlier  you  go 
t.he  ])urer  it  gets,  yon  know  ;  and  Chris  always  was  a  deuce  of 
a  fellow  for  air.  (looks  at  ceiling)  He--he  — liveson  it.  No — 
no — I  don't  mean  that  ! 

Nelly,  (coming  doion)  Poor  Chris,  what  can  have 
haj)pened  ?  I  haven't  seen  him  for  two  years.  I've  only  just 
arrived  from  school  in  Paris,  Whimper,  our  manservant, 
mut  me  at  the  station  with  a  message  that  I  was  to  wait  for 
papa  and  mamma  here.   (  goes  tip  L.) 

Hell,  (aside)  (down,  R.)  Christopher's  father  coming  fco 
town.  Now  1  see  through  it  all.  This  pauper  and  attic  busi- 
ness is  got  up  especially  for  the  old  man's  heuejit.  (aloud  to 
Kelly,  irho  ruefully  examiti^es  the  shabby  furniture)  I  wouldn't 
let  the  sight  of  this  place  distress  me  if  I  were  you.  We 
bachelors  don't  go  in  for  frivolous  embellishments.  Solid 
comfort  is  all  we  care  about. 

Nelly,  {looks  round)  Poor  Chris,  I  wish  I  knew  *liat 
to  do. 

15 ELL.  (aside,  L.)  She  doesn't  like  the  idea  of  meeting  him 
before  me.  I  hate  to  leave  her,  and  yet  it's  the  only  respect- 
aide  course,  (crosses)  (aloud)  (taking  hat)  If  you  don't  mind, 
Mi.ss  Jedljury,  I'll  run  away.  I  really  have  a  most  pressing 
ai'pi.iiitnieiit.     You're  sure  you  don't  mind.     Good-bye  ! 

Nelly  (reliev<'d)  Oh,  thank  you  so  much  —  I  mean  good- 
bye 1    (follows  him)    Good-bye!     (left  at  door,  h.) 

Exit  Bellaby. 

Nelly.  How  nice  of  him  to  go  \  I  know  I  shall  give  way 
when  Christopher  comes,  and  I  couldn't  have  done  it  com- 


CHRISTOPITKR   JUNIOll.  5 

fortftbly  before  a  third  person— especially  such  •  good- 
looking  third  person,  I  ho(>e  papa  has  sent  him  an  invita- 
tion to  iny  ball  Oil !  l(X)k  at  those  droadful  curtains.  And 
the  carpet — {(/oes  R.,  bcjhin.i.iig  to  cry)  Oh  dear,  I  never  felt 
so  miserable  in  all  my  life,  {stands  before  open  door,  k.) 
That's  the  bedroom,  T  -uppose.  (looks  in)  A  cracked  looking- 
glass  I  and  what  a  bed!  Oov'ered  with  boots  and  shoes  1 
\\  ell,  I  can  at  least  put  things  tidy  for  the  poor  fellow. 
(exit  into  room,  R.,  and  shuts  door) 

Enter  Job  door  l.  ;  he  carries  a  qnuntlty  of  Jed's 
wearihg  apparel. 

Job.  (crosses  behind  table)  Here's  the  clothes  !  Where  to 
put  'em  is  the  next  iliiiiL;.  There  ain't  a  wardrobe  or  a  cup- 
board on  the  blessefi  flour.  (I  lira  ins  clothes  on  sofa  R.)  {looks 
round  drspondenlly)  To  tliink  that  Mr.  Christopher  should 
have  come  lUncn  to  this  I  mean  up  to  this  !  (Jed.  sirnjs  o^ 
h)  {listens)  Ah,  tliere  he  comes!  And  singing  as  light- 
hearted  as  a  baby. 

Jfi  uuky's  voice  gets  nearer  and  he  presently  enters,  h., 
carrying  a  large  spoinjv  h-th,  in  whirJi  are  sij'hons  of 
S'ida  and  a  deinljohn ;  h' also  carries  a  bundle  under 
his  arm, 

Jed.  J.  (l.c.)  I  thong' t  I  told  you  to  take  a  holiday  ! 

Job.  I'm  going,  S'r,  as  soon  as  I  can  get  things  straight. 

Jed.  J.  Well  lend  a  hand  witli  this,  and  then  scoot,  {puts 
the  bundle  on  table) 

Job.  {taking  hold  of  bath)  Where  are  we  gomg  to  put  it, 
Bir?     Tliere  ain't  anothei-  iiich  of  room  in  there,     {points  r.) 

Jed,  J.  {going  to  windoiu)  Put  it  on  the  leads.  (Job  pre- 
ares  to  obey)  Here  !  hold  on— leave  the  liquid  !  {takes 
dehiijohn  and  syphon  oat  and  stands  Diem  on  sideboard)  (Job 
takes  bath,  gets  out  of  the  rvindoio  and  disapptars)  (c.)  Great 
instilutKin  the  leads  !  They  hold  such  a  lot  of  things  !  I 
imist  gnt  rid  of  Job,  for  if  my  respected  Dad  found  out  that 
I  kept  a  valet,  it  would  be  all  up  with  me.  {surceyin.g  room) 
Moving  up  into  this  "arret  was  a  brilliant  idea.  A  few  more 
like  that  would  make  my  fortune.  The  Guv'nor  thinks  I  am 
dwelling  in  gilded  splendour  at  his  expense.  He  comes — 
beholds  Mrs.  Spriggs's  sky  parlour — (Job  re-enters  through 
witidou))  and  tableau  I  {goes,  L.)  Yea,  I  think  I  can  safely 
predict — tiblean  !  A  pareni.  who  wouldn't  be  melted  at  the 
tiiglit  of  this  luxury  would  be  tough  indeed  ! 

Job.  {coming  down  to  *ofa,  r,)  Whore  are  these  clothes  to 
go,  sir  ? 

Jed,  J.  On  the  leads. 


6  CnRISTOPKER   JUlsIOIl. 

Job.  But  it's  going  to  rain. 

Jed.  J.  Then  leave  them.  I'll  find  a  place.  (Ionics  at  n:atc>.) 
Eleven  o'clock  !  (aAidc)  Dy  Jove,  the  Guv'nor.  will  be  here 
presently,  {aloud)  Job,  you  really  mus.'.  get  out  into  ih- 
fresh  air.  You're  not  loldng  well,  {up  to  him  and 
away,  L.) 

Job.  Where  shall  I  go,  sir? 

Jed.  J.  Oh,  on  tlie  leads— er — somewhere  to  liven  you 
up.      How  about  Westminster  Abbey  or  K'  nsal  Gret-n  ? 

Job.  {picking  vp  hoard)  What  ah.. ut  this  shelf,  sir? 

Jed.  J.  I'll  fix  that !  (JoBsmJes)  What  are  you  laughing 
at? 

Job.  At  the  thought  of  you   sir,  a-wieldingof  a  'ammer. 

Jed.  J.  Don't  you  drop  your  h's,  Job. 

Job.  And  don't  you  drop  the  'ammer,  sir.  It's  very 
'eavy. 

Jed.  J.  {takes  bundle  from  table ;  unrolls  and  displays  a  torn 
and  dilapidated  coat)  What  do  you  think  of  that.  Job? 

Job.  What's  it  fr,  sir? 

Jed.  J.  What's  it  jfor?  What  are  coats  usually  for  1  Help 
me  on  !  (Job  obeys  ;  puts  other  coat  on  chair  by  tahle)  Might 
have  been  made  for  me.  Gave  a  beggar  chap  ten  shillings 
for  it  just  now.  He's  going  to  retire  and  live  on  the 
interest. 

Job.  I  wouldn't  call  it  a  bargain,  sir. 

Jed  J.  That's  because  you  don't  know  a  bargain  when  you 
see  one.  {iralks  to  sidtboard)  A  man  must  dr^ss  up  to  his 
{takes  up  teapot,  the  sjwut  of  which  is  broken)  teapot,  {liste^is) 
Hark  !  Job  !  you  really  are  extremely  pale,  and  must  go 
home  at  once,  {turns  him  L.) 

Job.  You'll  never  be  able  to  manage  it,  sir,  by  yourself. 

Jed.  J.  {liustling  him  off  h.)  I  insist. 

Job  exits  l.  and  Jed.  J.  closes  the  door  after  him. 

Jed.  J  {takes  off  ragged  jachet  and  throws  it  on  sofa) 
Kjw,  let  me  inspect  the  apartments,  {looking  up)  H'm, 
ought  to  be  plenty  of  ventilation,  {rocks  table)  Ah, 
ricketty,  that's  the  style  !  {crosses  to  upper  r.,  jjicks  up 
hammer,  knocks  nail  in  tcall,  Itangs  tip  one  of  the  coats 
hronght  in  by  Job)  What  evil  luck  C:.uld  bring  my  dad 
to  town  just  now.  when  he  hasn't  set  foot  out  of  Devon- 
shire for  over  a  year  ?  {drives  another  nail  and  hangs  another 
garme^it).  Well,  if  I  don't  turn  his  visit  to  good  -iccount 
]m  not  Jedbury  Junior,  {drives  another  tuiil  along  the  tvall 
and  hangs  another  coat)  And  now  to  spread  my  frugal 
repast,  {gets  cloth  fnmi  sideboard  L.)  A  little  too  clean  to  appeal 
to  the  emotions,  but  here's  a  stunning  hole,  we'll  turn  that 


CHRISTOPHER  JUKIOR.  7 

to  the  front,  {spreaih  doth)  1  ought  to  have  some  bread  and 
butter.  No,  no  butter,  butter  betokens  affluence.  Bread  I 
Just  plain  last  month's  bread  !  And  a  red  herring  !  That 
herring  idea  was  an  inspiration  !  I  told  the  landlady  to 
send  out  for  one  !  There  is  no  such  sign  of  abject  poverty 
as  a  red  herring  !  {<jets  cup,  saucer  and  teapot)  That's  a  good 
old  family  relic,  I'll  be  bound  !  Shouldn't  like  to  be  respon- 
sible for  all  the  scandal  that's  heard  1  (referring  to  teapot) 
Ah  !  (ijetsbowl)  here  is  some  nice,  soft,  sandy  looking  sugar  I 
That's  good  !  (knock  at  door  l.)  Not  at  home  !  (pauses) 
Perhaps  it's  the  red  herring  !  (goes  to  door  as  if  to  speak  to 
someone  departing)    Here,  hold  on.  (goes  out) 

Enter  Nelly   from  K.  ;    she    carries   a   torn  patchivork 
counterpane. 

Nelly.  His  counterpane  I  I'd  mend  it  if  I  could  find  a 
needle  !  (remains  atopeiid'Or  K.,  examining  counterpane) 

Jed.  J.  (outside)  Oh,  yes,  one  will  be  quite  enough  (re- 
enters R.,  carrying  a  large  loaf  and  a  herring  in  a  piece  of 
paper  ;  he  turns  and  sees  Nelly  ;  they  stand  for  a  moment  on  the 
opposite  thresholds,  looking  at  one  another,  then  Nelly  bursfs 
out  crying,  shouts '■^  Chris!"  and  runs  as  he  adiances,  and 
throws  her  arms  about  his  neck  ;  drops  counterpa^ieby&.D. 

Nelly.  Chris,  my  poor  Chris  ! 

Jed.  J.  By  Jove,  it's  our  Nell  come  home  from  school  1 
Here,  Nelly,  hold  up.  You're  crying  all  over  the  herring, 
and  it's  been  salted  once. 

Nelly.  I  couldn't  help  it,  Chris,  I  am  so  unhappy. 

Jed.  J.   What  about  ? 

Nelly,  (adonished)  What  about? 

Jed.  J.  {following  her  glance)  Oh,  these  quarters.  Well, 
they're  not  altogether  eighteen  carat,  what  of  that  ?  (places par- 
cels on  table  and  puts  on  coat  which  he  wore  at  his  first  entrance. 

Nelly.  You  brave  boy!  (goes  tip  and  lifts  conn  terp<  me) 

Jed.  J.  (aside)  Now,  for  the  first  time  I  feel  like  a 
scoundrel.  I  consider  it  a  meritorious  action  to  deceive  the 
Guv'nor,  but  it's  an  outrage  on  Nelly. 

Nelly,  (coming  r.c.)  Chris,  won't  you  tell  me  how  it  has 
all  happened  ? 

Jed.  J.  Why,  of  course  I  will.  But  first,  let's  have  a 
look  at  you.  (turning  her  round)  Quite  a  little  Pari.sienne, 
I  declare.  Well,  you've  taken  me  by  surprise,  Nelly,  but  it's 
better  than  not   taking  me  at  all. 

Kelly.  Surprise  !  Then  Mamma  didn't  write  you  that  I 
was  to  meet  them  here  1 

Jed.  J.  Them  1  So  Mamma's  coming  too,  eh  1  Well,  I 
might  as  well  taka  the  whole  dose  at  once. 


8  CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR. 

Nelly.  Then  it  Is  as  I  expected.  YouVe  had  another 
quarri'l  with  Papa,. 

.Jku.  .).  (l.c.  )  Not  another!  Only  a  continuation  of  the 
sinie  old  (original  row  !  (taking  her  h(i')ul)  Nelly,  you  are  not 
a  child  now,  and  you  can  uink-  stand.  Christojjher,  junior, 
7s  a!)d  has  been  a  pro  ty  bid  case,  but  Christopher,  senior, 
has  never  done  the  S(iuare  thing,  upon  my  honour.  The 
fact  is,  Nelly 

Nell¥.  Excuse  mo,  Chris,  but  I  decline  to  hear  another 
syllable  till  you  have  eatrn  your  breakfast,  (goes  to  table) 
Shall  I  pour  you  out  a  cup  of  tea  ? 

Jed.  J.  (q^dckly  following)  No— no — you  don't  understand 
that  teapot!  I've  some  new  photog'-aphs  over  there — 
amateur  theatricals,  you  know — go  and  have  a  look  at  'em. 

Nellt.  Oh,  yes  !  (she  goes  lu  mantel  and  examines  photos) 

Jed.  J.  (he  opens  lid  of  teapot)  (asih-)  Empty  !  I  forgot  all 
about  the  tea.  Well,  I  hate  tea,  anyhow.  I  know  what  [ 
should  like  though,  (looks  tovurds  sideboard  and  then  at  tea- 
pot) By  Jove,  that's  a  brilliant  idea,  (sees  that  her  attention, 
is  attracted  by  photos— goes  to  sideboard,  po^irs  some  branAy 
into  teapot,  and  then  ..qnirts  some  soda  from  syphon  in, 
iratching  Nelly  all  the  time)  (noise  of  syphon  is  Nelly's  cue 
to  speak) 

Nelly,  (examining  pJiotos)  What  is  this,  Chris  1 

Jed.  J.  (ahsenily)  That's  tea. 

Nelly.  Eh? 

Jed,  J.  Yes,  T  for  Tom,  you  know.  Thomas  a  Becket. 
In  the  play. 

Nelly.  I  didn't  know  that  Thomas  k  Becket  wore  a 
powdered  wig. 

J  ED.  J.  (coming  down  with  teapot)  Not  that  one — the  other 
felh'W  at  the  corner,  (povrs  out  a  cap  of  soda  and  brandy  and 
drinks  it) 

Nelly.  Oh,  how  funny  you  look  in  this  one.  (la^iyhs) 
[hlioios  it) 

Jed.  J.  Hamlet!  Yes,  I  10  is  fanny  in  that  I 

Nelly,  (going  up  k.  and  glancing  at  books)  I  am  very  gUd 
to  know  that  you  keep)  up  your  reading. 

Jed.  J.  (rushing  )ip ;  uneasily)  Don't  touch  those.  You 
wont  understand  thorn  I  (taking  her  away)  They're 
Chinese. 

Nelly.  Chinese  !  How  clever  you  must  be  !  (crosses  in 
front  to  tai'leh  )  Chrin,  I  think  I'll  have  a  cup  of  tea. 

Jed.  J.  No,  don't.  You  wouldn't  enjoy  it,  it's  cold  I  (e. 
of  table) 

Nelly,  (l.  of  table  ;  pnlting  her  hand  on  teapot)  So  it  is  | 
just  as  cold  aa  a  stone. 


CHEISTOPHER   JUNIOR.  9 

Jed,  J.  Yes,  I  like  it  like  that. 

Nelly.  VVell,sit  down  to  your  breakfast  and  I'll  s't  opposite 
and  tulk  to  yuu  ,vhile  you  eat.   {lilieslts  and  he  louki  hopcL:;iis) 

Jbd.  J.   The  fact  is,  I'm  not  hungry  just  now.   Really  I — 

Nklly.  I  insist !  If  you  don't  I  will  uo  away  this  moment 
and  wait  in  the  street,  {he  sighs  and  si  '  >  into  chair)  Now 
I  will  cut  the  bread  for  you  {pansing  n  dh  loaf)  I  suppose 
you  have  grown  to  like  it  thick  these  days. 

Jed.  J.  Not  too  thick,  {watches  her  measure  abuitt  a  ticird 
of  loaf) 

Nelly.  Well,  medium  then.  (c?tts  three-inch  slice  aind 
gives  it) 

Jed.  J.  (aside)  That  is  what  she  calls  medium,  (makes 
pretence  of  eating) 

Nelly.  Here  is  a  fork  for  your  fish, 

Jed.  J.  Thanks  awfully  !  {eats  some  of  herring,  then  secretes 
small  portion  behind  chair  ;  aside)  Oh,  for  a  friendly  feline 
puss,  puss  !  VV^hy  did  1  discourage  that  cat's  advances  ? 
{takes  a  drink ;  eats) 

Nelly,  (seeing  him  eat)  That  is  better.  Now  tell  me,  how 
did  you  come  to  thi.s  state  of  insolvency  ? 

Jed.  J.  (carelessly)  Oh,  by  degrees.  1  have  never  been  able 
to  keep  out  of  debt  on  Dad's  allowance,  and  instead  of  per- 
mitting me  to  augment  that  ailowan  e  by  going  in  o  busi- 
ness he  has  always  insisted  on  a  profession,  {rises  and  goes  c 
Nelly  rises.)  But  come,  Nell,  ch  er  up,  that  long  fa^,e  does 
not  sit  well  on  a  debutante.  By  the  bye,  when  is  the  tlare 
up?  (swiigs  her  ro mid) 

Nelly  {crosses  to  k.c.)  My  dance?  Next  Wednesday, 
You  are  coming  down  ?  {with  a-nimation ;  he  shakes  his  head) 
But  you  nmst,  if  it  is  only  to  meet  Dora. 

Jed.  J.  Dora?     And  who  is  Doia? 

Nelly,  {rapturously)  A  darling  1 

Jed.  J.  Really  I 

Nelly.  Chris,  I  want  you  to  fall  desperately  in  love  with 
her. 

Jed.  J.  H'm  !     What's  she  like  ? 

Nelly.  Oh,  very  clever.  Not  a  bit  like  me — quite  superior  1 

Jed.  j.  (aside)  That  lets  me  out  I     She's  safe  1 

Nelly.  She's  quite  old. 

Jed.  J.  (uninterested)  Ah  I 

Nelly.   Almost  twenty- one. 

Jed.  j.  (interested)  Oh  !  And  what  would  such  an  aged 
person  be  doing  in  a  convent  school  ? 

Nelly.  Studying  special  branches.  Yes,  she  has  made  up 
her  mind  to  become  a  nun.  Chris,  I  feel  sure  she  has  a 
history — a  past,  you  know. 


10  CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR. 

Jed.  J.  (vnth  mock  seriousness)  I»lo?  {aside,  L.C.)  Blue 
spectacles  and  a  broken  heart,  {alotul)  Wt-11,  if  I'm  invited. 
I'll  run  down  to  see  the  last  of  a  certain  jolly  little  girl 
(embraces  her)  who  is  going  to  degenerate  into  a  society  lady. 
(looks  at  wntcJt)  What  tinie  did  you  expect  to  be  called  for  ? 

Nelly.  Mamma  said  about  twelve. 

Jed.  J.  And  Dad  said  about  eleven.  Well,  that  is  as  near 
as  they  ever  agree  about  mhythincj. 

Nelly.  Do  they  still  go  for  weeks  without  speaking  to  one 
another  except  through  Whimper  1 

Jed.  J.  I  imagine  so. 

Mrs.  Glibb    (off)  George,  these  stairs  I 

Jed.  J.  Hush— here  they  are. 

Nelly,  (going  to  door  l.  and  listeiiing)  No,  it  isn't  Mamma 
and  Papa,  for  they  are  talking  quite  amiably. 

Mrs.  G.  (outside)  But,  George  !  it  cannot  be  so  far  up  ? 

Jed.  J.  Confound  it,  it's  the  Glibbs. 

Nelly.  Who  are  the  Glibbs  ? 

Jed.  J.  (r.c.)  Mrs.  Glibb  is  the  founder  of  the  Anti-Pitch 
and  Toss  Society. 

Nelly.  And  Mr.  Glibb  1 

Jed.  J.  Mr.  Glibb— Oh,  well,  he's  just  Mrs.  Glibb's 
husband,  (knock  at  door  ;  .Jkd.  J.  puts  Jinger  on  his  lips  ; 
Nelly  goes  up  and  round  to  R. ) 

Mrs.  G.  (puts  her  head  in  door  L.)  Mr.  Jedbury 

Jed.  J.  (aloiid)  Not  at  home  !  ..f-^ 

Enter  Mrs.  Glibb,  followed  by  Mr.  Glibb. 

Jed.  J.  (crosses  with  pretended  astonishment)  Ah  !  how  de 
do?  Delighted  1  I  said,  "Not  at  h<mie,"  didn't  11  Absurd 
habit  of  mine  !  Always  say,  "  Not  at  home  "  when  I  mean 
"  Come  in.''  (is  bhaking  hands  all  the  time  with  Glibb,  who  is 
perfectly  apathetic)  Permit  me,  my  sister  Nelly — Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Glibb.  This  is  Mr.  Glibb,  (Glibb  releases  himsdf  and 
sits  on  stool  at  side  of  table  h. ) 

Mrs.  G.  (r.c.)  (crossing  there)  Delighted  !  Have  heard 
about  you  from  your  dear  mother,  (shakes  Nelly's  hand  ; 
effusively  to  Glibb)  Geoige,  Miss  Jedbury,  Christopher's 
sister,  (he  slowly  nods)  Pardon  th<?  familiarity.  Miss  Nelly, 
but  while  in  town  I  have  been  endeavouring  to  act  a  mother's 
part  to  your  naughty  brother,  and  Mr.  Glibb  (looking  at 
him  for  corroboration)  takes  the  moat  vivid  interest  in  the 
rugue. 

Glibb's  countenance  must  he  absolutely  devoid  of  expres- 
sion now  and  through  the  entire  play. 

JSsLLH.  (o.)  It  is  very  kind  of  him. 


CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR.  11 

Mrs.  G.  It  is.  But  he  is  so  energetic.  Cliristopher  !  (lonJcs 
r(yiind)  Surely  these  are  not  the  apartments  we  visited 
before  ? 

Jed.  J.  (Tj.c.)  (aside)  Damn  it  ;  she'll  spoil  everything. 
{aloud)  Oh  yes  1  They've  shrunk  a  bit  in  the  cleaning,  but 
they're  the  same. 

Mrs.  G.  We  had  no  idea  it  was  so  far  up. 

Jed.  J.  Ah  !  ycu  must  have  judged  by  the  going  doirm. 
It  isn't  half  so  far  going  down,  (aside  to  Nelly)  D<.n't  take 
any  notice  of  her.    No  memory  -drinks  I 

Mrs.  G.  And  where  is  your  grand  piano  ?  {looking  nt 
Glibb)  It  was  a  grand,  was  it  not,  George  ?  (Glibb  shnvhj 
opens  his  month  as  if  to  speak)  Ah,  I  thought  so  !  (aside  to 
Nelly,  in  lotvered  voice)  Mr.  Glibb  is  always  the  personifica- 
tion of  accuracy.  (Glibb  begins  his  business  slowly)  But  the 
piano,  where  is  it  gone  ?  Don't  tell  me  you've  lent  it  to  a 
friend,  you  reckless  boy.  (to  Nelly)  He  has  absolutely  no 
idea  of  the  value  of  money,  (during  follounng  dialogue 
Glibb  absently  potirs  out  liquid  from,  teapot  into  cup ; 
Christopher  tries  to  catch  his  eye,  and  looks  appealingly  at 
him,  but  he  sips  and  then  drinks  the  cupful  down  unth  a 
perfectly  stolid  countenance.  Christopher  draivs  a  lona  sigh 
of  relief — this  busitiess  must  not  be  hurried)  Ten  pounds, 
my  dear,  for  wax  dolls  to  give  to  the  bootblacks'  sist'^rs  at 
our  last  annual  excursion — Mr.  Glibb  was  compelled  to 
lecture  him  severely,  (goes  to  maidzl  and  exr.  mines  photos) 
An  excellent  picture  !  Full  of  force,  (puts  the  photo  dou-n) 
And  that  brings  me  to  the  object  of  our  visit,  (comes  duum, 
R.C.)  Mr.  Glibb  is  dying  to  know  if  you  wont  give  us  a 
recitation  in  character — something  funny,  you  know — at  our 
recital  for  butchers'  boys. 

Jed.  J.  With  pleasure. 

Mrs.  G.  (tapping  him  on  shoulder)  Good  boy  !  (to  Nelly) 
To  eradicate  the  gambling  instinct,  it  is  necessary  to  supply 
the  infant  mind  with  constant,  diversion.  Yon  must  j  in 
our  association,  (crosses  to  l.c.)  Now,  Christopher,  we  are 
going  to  take  one  turn  round  the  park,  and  Mr.  Glibb  tliinka 
we  might  persuade  your  sister  to  accompany  us.  ;Slie  shall 
be  restored  to  you  in  an  hour. 

Nelly.  Thank  you  very  much. 

Mrs.  G.  (crossing  l.c.)  Then  come  along  ;  George,  are  you 
quite  i-eady  ?  (aside  to  Nelly,  toho  crosses  L. ,  in  loin  red  voire) 
I  should  like  you  to  become  better  acquainted  with  Mr.  Gliiih. 
He's  a  wonderfd  man  !  Au  revoir,  Christopher.  We  will 
take  good  care  of  your  lister.     Come,  Gtrorge  1 

Glibb  rises;  Mrs.  Glibb  takes  Nelly's  arm  and  exits 


12  CHKISTOPHEli   JUNIOR. 

L.  ;  GIjIBB  folloios  to  door  and  then  pauses,  opens  his 
mnvth  as  if  to  speak  to  Jedbury  Junior,  when  Mrs. 
Glibb's  voice  is  heard  again  outside. 

Mrs.  G.  (outside)  George  !  (Glibb  subsides  and  goes  quietly 

of) 

Jed.  J.  Ha,  Ha  I  Mr.  Glibb  is  quite  garrnlous  this  morn- 
ing. He  coughed  once,  and  I  caught  him  elevating  his 
eyebrows  on  two  distinct  occasions,  (doses  door)  (going  c.  ; 
fedinn  his  chin)  Hang  it  all,  Job  forgot  to  shave  me  !  Why 
isn't  a  fellow  taught  to  shave  at  school  ?  He  might  practise 
on  the  masters.  Well,  if  things  continue  at  this  downhill 
j)HC3  I  shall  have  to  study  the  art,  so  I  might  as  well  begin  at 
once,  (going  to  bedroomR.)  I  think  I'd  better  shut  the  door, 
for  if  1  were  disturbed  it  might  be  fatal,  (takes  torn  coat  and 
exits  into  bedroom,  shutting  door) 

After  slight  pause  a  kno'k  on  dooi'  L. ,  followed  by  the 
entrance  of  Christopher  Jedbury  Senior,  Mrs. 
Jedbury  and  Whimper  ;  </n;  latter  carries  Mb.  Jed- 
bury's  stick  in  one  hand  and  Mrs.  Jedbury's 
parasol  in  the  other ;  Jedbury  looks  round  the  room, 
then  walks  across  to  R.c.  ;  Whimper  takes  up  his  posi- 
tion in  the  middle,  and  Mrs.  Jedbury  sits  l. 

Mrs.  J.  (hysterically)  What  a  barbarous  apartment ! 

Jed.  S.  (r.)  Whimper! 

Whim,  (respectfully  but  without  the  slighfest  inflection  of 
voice)  Yes,  sir? 

Jed.  S.  My  compliments  to  your  mistress,  and  if  she 
doesn't  like  the  apartment  she  can  get  out  of  it. 

Whim,  (without  moving)  Yes,  sir.  (now  turns  his  head  to 
Mrs.  J.  and  gives  the  least  cough)  Mr.  Jedbury  suggests, 
madam,  that  it  would  be  more  comfortable  to  you  to  remain 
below  in  the  carriage. 

Mrs.  J.  Let  your  master  know  that  my  remarks  were  not 
addi-essed  to  him. 

Whim.  Yes,  Ma'am,  (movivg  onl\i  his  head  and  glmng  the 
tame  introductory  cough)  (To  Jedbury  Senior)  Madam  is 
content  to  remain  for  the  present,   (remains  immovable) 

Jkd  S.  (walking  to  L.  and  back  again)  A  pretty  state  of 
affairs  for  my  son.  Absolute  pa"peidom  !  I  suppose 
he  tiiinks  that  the  knowledge  (<f  his  condition  will  soften  my 
resolution.     The  spt  ndthriit  will  lind  that  he  is  mistaken. 

Mrs.  J.  (sitting  r  of  table)  I  regret  that  I  directed  my 
d;iugl)ter  here,  amid  such  squalor,  (turns  face  h.',  sees  herring, 
bus.) 

Jed.  S.  (e-o.)  Whimper  I 


CHRISTOPITEII   JUNIOR.  13 

WniM.   Yes,  sir. 

JhD  S.  Y(tu  can  remind  your  niisLicss  that  what  is  good 
enough  for  my  son  is  good  enough  for  her  daughter. 

Mrs.  J.  Whimper  ! 

Whim.  Yes,  ma'am  ? 

Mrs.  J.  If  your  master  wishes  to  openly  insult  nie,  pray 
don't  let  him  restrain  himself  on  my  account,  (a  scream 
heard  frum  iiislde  of  bedroom)  Whimper  !  Thefe  is  a  tragedy 
beii.g  perpetrated  in  that  room.  Give  me  my  parasol,  {he 
obeys) 

Jen.  S.  Whimper,  come  with  me.  {they  all  approach  door 
— Jedbuky,  Whimper  is  in  the  mnldle,  Mrs  JEnr.ur.Y. 
Jed  J.  comes  out  withoiit  his  coat  and  a  gash  on  hi.',  chin 
from  shaving.  Mrs.  Jedbury  drops  jiarasol  and  rnsJies  at 
him  ;  Whimper /ai/s  hack  to  o.,  and  Jeu.  S.  drops  down  r.) 

Mrs.  J.   Christopher,  my  son  ! 

Jed.  J.  (falling  on  her  shoulder)  Mother  !  (aside)  Tableau  ! 
(aloiid)  Excuse  me  !  (darts  itUo  room  and  reinrns  in  torn 
ccat,  lo'  king  penitent) 

Mrs.  J.  (hysterically,  L.c.)  My  p^or  boy,  I  thought  some- 
thing f.arful  had  occurred.  Say,  oh  say,  that  you  were  .lot 
about  to  take  your  life. 

Jed.  J.  (r.c.)  No,  mother,  I  was  trying  to  shave. 

Mrs.  J.  (melod'amatically)  Thank  Heaven  for  that  I 
(crossing  to  L.  chair) 

Jed.  S.  (r.)  Whimper,  tell  your  mitress  not  to  make  a 
fool  of  herself. 

Whim.   Y^es,  sir.   (turns  his  head  and  coughs  as  before) 

Mrs.  J.  Whimper,  tell  your  master  that  I  .shouldn't  dream 
of  usurj;ing  his  privilege. 

Jed.  J.  (adjusting  court  plaster  to  his  chin)  Nelly  has  been 
here,  mother. 

Mrs.  J.  (with  dignity)  We  met  her  on  the  s-taiis  below, — 
the  carpett  d  stairs,  thank  goodness  !  Mrs.  (ilibb  has  kindly 
consented  to  drop  her  at  our  hotel. 

Jed  J.  (c.)  I  regret,  sir,  th  .t  1  am  compelled  to  entertain 
you  in  such  humble  quarters,  !)ut  circumstances  (di splay ijig 
torn  coat)  over  which  I  have  no  control 

Jed.  S.  (r.)  The  circum.stances  don't  appear  to  have  got 
down  to  your  boots  yet. 

Jed.  J.  (a.yide)  Diuce  take  it,  I  forg't  all  about  the 
boots  !  (aloud)  It's  a  man's  duty  to  keep  up  appcararces, 
and  though  my  clothes  (ostentatiovsly  bniloninj  coat)  may 
look  expensive  they  are  not  !  I  borrowed  them  from  a 
f  I  lend. 

Jed  S.  (pointing  at  those  hanging  on  wall)  Thoso  are  al$o 
borrowed  from  a  friend,  eh  ? 


14  CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR. 

Jed  J.  (turning)  Those  1  Oh,  no.  (confused)  That's  the 
stock  1 

Jed  S.  The  stock'i 

Jed.  J.  Yes,  I— I'm  going  into  the  business. 

Jed.  S.  Indeed  I  So  you  haven't  disgraced  me  enough  1 
Well,  it  is  to  discuss  your  future  I  am  here. 

Jed.  J.  Delighted,  {moyvrnfnlly)  Hope  you'll  stay  a 
month  or  two.     I  mean  an  hour  or  two. 

Jed  S.  Ten  minutes  will  be  sufficient  for  the  little  I  have 
to  say,  but  that  little  I  should  prefer  to  say  in  piivate. 
{looking  pointedly  at  Mrs.  Jedbury)  In  private!  {tiirns  ^lp  r.) 

Mrs.  J.  Whimper  !  (crosses  with  dignity)  I  have  no  wish 
to  linger  where  1  am  not  wanted. 

Exit  Ij.,  followed  by  Whimper  at  respectful  distance^  who 
ieaws  Jedbury's  stick  against  chair  by  I..D. 

Jed.  S.  And  now,  sir  "i  (comes  donm  l.) 

Jed.  J.  (aside)  It's  coming  !  (to  him.)     H'm — take  a  chair  1 

Jed.  S.  (sits  l.  by  fable)  I  am  a  man  of  few  words. 

Jed.  J.  Now  I'm  in  for  a  synopsis  of  his  entire  career. 

Jed.  S.  At  ten  years  of  age 

Jed.  J,  (sitting  r.c.)  I  thought  so. 

Jed.  S.  I  had  completed  my  school  education. 

Jed.  J.  Yes,  sir, 

Jed.  S.  At  twenty  I  was  a  clerk  in  an  East  India  House. 
At  thirty  I  was  a  small  trader  on  my  own  account. 

Jed.  J.  Yes,  sir. 

Jeu.  S.  At  fifty  I  am  a  millionaire.  Now,  sir,  by  what 
means  have  I  arrived  at  this  pinnacle "{ 

Jed.  J.  I  give  it  up. 

Jed.  S.  By  planning  a  line  of  action  and  by  following  chat 
line  with  industry  and  undeviating  rule.  I  mty  say,  sir, 
that  ni  all  my  career  I  have  never  made  a  blunder. 

Jed.  J.  Indeed.  I  thought  you  were  resp'  nsible  fjr  my 
existence. 

Jed.  S.  That  is  not  the  question.  That  you  are  a  blunder 
is  the  disappointment  of  my  life,  for  I  looked,  with  ray 
money  and  inlluence,  to  make  an  aristocrat  and  a  gentleman 
of  you. 

Jed.  J.  (rising  loith  impiihive  anger)  In  other  words  you 
wanted  another  background  for  your  vanity.  It  was  nut  a 
question  of  giving  your  son  the  benefits  you  had  l)een  denied, 
but  it  was,  "  iMy  son  is  a  gentleman.  VVho  made  him  such  1 
Christopher  Jedbury,  the  tra<ler.  (getting  more  angry)  My 
son  is  reading  for  the  Bar,  will  in  time  }>ec<mie  a  judge  —who 
has  provided  the  money  ?  Christopher  Jedbury,  the  mer- 
chant !  '■  Pah  !  (goes  up  then  down  0.)  (pause)  Fo.'give  me, 
father,  I  lost  my  self-control. 


CHKISTOPHER   JUNIOK.  15 

Jed.  S.  I  was  not  aware  you  ever  possessed  any. 

Jed.  J.  (qvdetly)  I  know  that  I  shall  never  be  able  to 
satisfy  you  in  the  way  that  you  desire,  but  I  have  a  business 
ht  ad  and  a  honest  desire  to  put  my  practicability  to  the  tesr,. 
Why  not  give  me  a  trial  ? 

Jed.  S.  And  your  education  may  go  to  the  winds,  (sneer- 
ingJy)  Oh,  certainly.  Which  do  you  prefer — the  counting, 
house  or  the  produce  department?  You  forget,  sir,  that  the 
first  requisite  of  a  business  man  is  brains. 

Jed.  J.  And  what  proof  have  you  that  I  lack  brains  ? 

Jed.  S.  Your  reckless  extravagance. 

Enter  Job  l.  ;  he  begins  to  remove  things  from  table. 

Jed.  J.  {seriously)  You  started    late  in   life  to   inculcate 
lessons  of  economy.      You  put  me  among   a  certain  set.     I 
did  as  I  saw  the  others  do.  {tries  to  catch  Joa's  eye,  but  jai's) 
Job  begins  clearing  table,  putting  things  on  sideboard 
at  back. 

Jed.  S.  {rises  and  goes  Ji.)  Whom  have  we  here?  (Job 
comes  c,  carrying  plates) 

Jed  J.  Oh,  nobody  in  particular,  {aside)  Why  the  devil 
did  you  come  back  ? 

Job.  (cowtes  l  c. )  I  thought  you  was  done,  sir.  I've  been 
aU  over  Westminster  Abbey. 

Jed.  S.   Introduce  us. 

Jed.  J.  Certainly  {aside) — {aloud)     Mr.  Job  I 

Jed.  S.  Job— Job  what  ? 

Jed.  J.  {aside)  Handed  if  I  know,  {to  Job)  What  is  your 
confounded  name,  besides  Job? 

Job.   Smith,  sir.     I — I'm  very  sorry,  sir. 

Jed.  J.  Smith — of  course!  Smidi — my  father!  IMy 
father — Smith.  Smith  and  I  are  old  cbums.  He  comes  in 
and  out,  and  makes  himself  quite  at  home.  Don't  you 
Smith  ?  {thumps  Itim  oil,  the  back;  knife  and  fork  fall) 

Jed.  S.  Proud  to  know  you.  (iq)  to  him)  You'll  pardon  the 
little  tete-a-tete,  {extends  his  1  and ;  Job  retreats) 

Jed.  J.  Oh,  you  needn't  mind,  Job — I  mean  Smith.  VVe 
have  no  secrets,  {goes  up  c.)  {aside)  Get  out !  {watches  Job 
nervoiisly  till  he  exits  into  beilroom  R.) 

Jed.  S.  {sits's..  of  table)  Well,  to  return  to  our  subject.  T 
was  about  to  make  you  a  proposition.  I  want  you  to  uiairy. 
(Jed.  J.  loolcs  up  quickly)  Don't  be  in  a  hurry  to  decline.  It 
is  the  only  way  to  retrieve  your  social  position  and  my  g->od 
opinion.  The  lady  is  a  niece  of  Major  Hedway,  a  retired 
army  officer,  who  has  just  purchased  an  interest  in  our 
Bombay  house.  This  union  will  expand  our  resources  and 
knit  up  our  interests. 


16  CHKISTOPHEK   JUNIOR. 

Jed.  J.  {sarcasticnlly)  I  see,  you  want  to  boom  op  the 
busine-s. 

Jed.  S.  (ignoring  his  tone)  The  girl  has  a  fortune  in  her 
own  right.  She  talks  about  going  into  a  convent,  but  she  is 
young  and  im|)rp.s.sional)le,  ami  will  doiihtless  change  her 
mind.  Well,  there  is  your  chance,  (rises)  Win  this  youig 
lady  and  you  shall  have  fifty  thousand  pounds  and  your  biils 
receipted  on  your  wedding  day.  Take  time  to  consider.  Let 
me  see-  this  is  Tuesday,  we  return  to  Devonshire  on  Satur- 
day. Suppose  you  run  down  for  Nelly's  hall  next  weok.  In  case 
you  wish  to  communicate  with  me  before  then,  we  are  stay- 
ing at  the  Burlington  (gnes  to  L.D.  attd  takes  stick)  (Jed. 
Junior  botvs)  And  now  I'll  leave  you  to  chew  the  cad  of  my 
advice,  and  I  warn  you -(stick  business) — that  your  entire 
future  as  my  son   may  depend  on  your  decision. 

Jed.  J.  (accomiianying  }iim  to  door  L.)  You  shall  have  an 
answer  this  day  week  without  fail,  (bow  from  Jed.  Senior.) 
(exit  Jed,  Senior)  Ah  !  It  was  the  ea.siest  way  to  get  rid  of 
him.  V\  ell,  it  only  wanted  this  to  make  my  collapse  com- 
plete, (walkitig  to  and  fro)  Rlarry  !  How  the  deuce  could  I  ? 
— even  if  I  wanted  ^o  !  If  I  am  not  the  most  unfortunate 
dog  that  ever  lived,  I'll  be  hanged. 

Enter  Bellaby  i. 

Bell,  (l.c.)  Don't,  old  chap.  Hanging  is  become  so 
beastly  common. 

Jed.  J.  (r.c.)  (seizing  his  hand  abruptly)  By  Jove,  the 
very  man  I  want. 

Bell.  What  is  it  ?  A  point  on  probate — libel — or  (looking 
at  room)  sudden  eviction  ? 

Jed,  J.  Tom,  don't  be  flippant.  I  m  in  a  hole  and  want 
you  to  help  me. 

Bell.  Professional  job,  eh  !  (aside)  My  first  I  (to  him) 
I'm  all  attention,   (sits,  L.)  (Itat  bus.)  I'm  all  attention. 

Jed.  J,  (sits,  r,c  )  You  remember,  two  years  ago,  my 
going  on  a  voyage  to  Trinadad  ? 

Bkll.  Yes,  and  I  remember  your  coming  back  un- 
expectedly the  next  week.     Climate  too  hot,  wasn't  it  ? 

Jed.  J,  Well— yes  !  The  place  did  become  rather  warm. 
The  fact  is,  I  got  into  an  awful  scrape. 

Bell.  I  guessed  as  much.    Well  1 

Jed.  J.  Well,  on  the  trip  out  we  had  an  atoful  passage 
and  I  kept  my  cabin  till  the  night  before  we  landed.  Then, 
feeling  like  having  a  cigar,  I  strolled  about  on  deck  until 
the  lights  were  out.  I  started  on  a  voyage  of  discovery  for 
my  cabin.  Finally  I  reached  it,  and  seeing  by  a  faint  streak 
of  moonlight  a  bundle  in  the  lower  berth,  which  T  thought  to 


CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR.  17 

be  my  clothes  laid  out  for  packing,  I  just  pulled  my  coat  off 
and  jumped  into  the  upper  berth  {movement  of  Bell.)  In 
two  seconds  1  was  sound  asleep.  I  don't  know  how  long  I 
remained  so,  when  the  sound  of  a  gehtle  undulating  snore 
(movement  of  Bellaby  forward)  began  to  mix  with  my 
dreams.  I  did  not  recognise  it  as  my  own,  and  that 
awoke  me. 

Bell.   And  the  snore  ? 

Jed.  J.  Went  placidly  on.  I  thought  of  the  bundle  in  the 
lower  berth  and  I  struck  a  match.  Qy  its  flickering  light 
{rises)  I  saw  a  sight  which  seemed  to  paralyse  my  spinal 
column.  Hanging  on  the  door  peg  was  a  sort  of  bifurcated 
jacket,  connected  by  a  trellis  work  down  the  back. 

Bell.  You  don't  mean  to  say 

Jed.  J.  Corsets  ;  I  do  !  Sit  down  !  In  a  flash  I  was  out  of 
that  berth,  and  with  coat  in  hand  was  making  a  graceful  exit. 

Bell.  By  Jove  !  what  a  spree  ! 

Jed.  J.  Was  it  ?  The  spree,  as  you  call  it,  hadn't  com- 
menct  d.     I  opened  the  door  and  made  a  bolt. 

Bell.  Into  yuur  own  cabin?  {rises) 

Jed.  J.  No, — sit  down  {pvts  Mm.  back) — into  the  arms  of 
an  elderly  military  individual,  who  appeared  to  be  doing  the 
sentry  act  in  front  of  the  lady's  cabin.  I  endeavcured  to  ex- 
plain but  as  he  had  set  his  heart  on  my  gore,  there  was 
nothing  to  do  but  to  exchange  cards,  and  trust  in  a  just 
Heaven  to  kill  the  Colonel  before  the  meeting  came  off. 

Bell.  And  did  the  just  Heaven  come  up  to  time? 

Jed  J.  No,  not  a  bit  of  it.  I  had  been  in  Trinidad  about 
two  hours  when  I  received  a  note  from  the  Colonel  He  had 
changed  his  mind  about  killing  me.  Instead,  he  intended 
to  marry  me. 

Bell.  Eh  ?  {attempts  to  rise) 

Jed.  J.  {pushing  him  back)  To  his  daughter  Matilda  ;  and 
don't  keep  bobbing  about  He  notitied  me  that,  notwith- 
standing his  daughter's  disinclination, nothing  should  prevent 
the  ceremony  from  taking  place  in  three  days,  and  that  if  1 
premeditated  escape  I  should  be  merely  offering  my  carcase 
as  a  target  for  his  men.  Now,  there  was  a  peculiar  circum- 
stance about  this  note.  He  addressed  me  {pavses  embarrassed) 
— well,  not  by  my  own  name.    I  looked  for  an  explanation. 

Bell.  Where  ? 

Jed.  J.  In  my  card  case. 

Bell.  Oh,  I  see.  You  had  given  him  someone  else's 
card  by  mistake  ?  {rising) 

Jed.  J.  H'm,  yes  !  That's  it— by  mistake,  {aside)  I  can't 
tell  him  that  it  was  his  own.  (alond)  Oh,  I  acted  in  good 
faith,  but  you  see  it  was  in  the  dark,  (iijj  to  him) 


18  CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR. 

Bell,  (nudging  him)  I  say,  what  a  joke  on  the  other 
fellow! 

Jed.  J.  (muhjing  back)  Capital,  wasn't  it. 

Bell.  By  tlie  bye,  who  was  it  ?     Wh.it  was  h^b  name  1 

Jed.  J.  Oh,  yes,  the  name.  Well,  the  name — tke  name — 
was  Glibb. 

Bell.  Your  t<dkative  friend.  {lauqJiing)  Great  1  And  how 
did  it  come  out  ? 

Jed  J.  Well,  the  day  came,  and  so  did  I,  into  the 
Colonel's  quarters.  Everything  was  in  readiness.  Tiie  old 
chaplain,  who  had  evidently  been  squared,  was  flanked,  so 
to  speak,  by  four  soldiers,  who  stood  at  attention  with 
drawn  bayonets  by  way  of  encouraging  me.  Here  were  the 
bayonets,  here  was  I. 

Bell.   What  did  you  do  ? 

Jed  J.  Do  ?    I  married  Matilda. 

Bell.  And  she? 

Jed.  J.  Thoroughly  prostrated  by  the  situation  lay  indis- 
posed in  an  adjoining  room. 

Bell.  And  you  never  saw  her  ? 

Jed.  J.  Never  set  eyes  on  her. 

Bell.  Then  how  could  you ? 

Jed.  J.  Well,  the  girl  signed  her  part  of  the  contract,  and 
the  same  witnesses  brought  it  to  me. 

Bell.  And  you  signed  1  (Jed.  J.  nods — Bell,  nudges  him) 
The  other  fellow's  name  ? 

Jed.  J.  (returning  wdge)  Yes,  the  other  fellow's  name. 
The  ceremony  concluded,  I  was  told  I  could  go,  as  my 
father-in-law  had  no  further  use  for  me. 

Bell.  And  you  returned  home  ? 

Jed.  J.  Just  as  soon  as  I  could.  Now,  Tom,  you  are  the 
only  soul  outside  the  contratting  parties  who  knows  any- 
thing of  this  ridiculous  affiiir.  What  I  want  to  know  is, 
am,  I  married,  or  am  I  not  1  There  are  numerous  reasons 
why  I  must  be  single. 

Bell.   You're  in  love?  (l.) 

Jed.  J.  Wrong  I  I'm  in  debt !  And  my  father  pugirests 
(Bell,  places  chair  by  faWe)that  I  shall  (pantomimes)  knit  uj) 
his  interests  and  expand  his  resources.  Now,  when  I  decline 
to  nwvrry  the  lady  he  has  selected,  I  shall  be  shown  the 
door,  and,  Tom,  I  can't  start  life  on  my  own  account  with 
this  Damoclean  sword  hanging  over  me.  (i/oes  to  him)  So, 
for  the  love  of  Heaven,  prove  this  marr.age  void,  or  kill 
Matilda,  (goes  c) 

Bell.  All  right,  old  man,  I'll  hunt  up  the  law.  By  the 
bye,  what  was  the  tyrant's  name  ? 

Jed.  J.    (c.)   What— the    old     father.     Dwyer— Colonel 


CHRISTOPHER  JUNIOR.  19 

Richard  Dwyer,  (produces  pocket  book)  Here's  his  blood- 
thirsty card.     Take  it. 

Bkll.  I'll  drop  you  a  line  on  Monday,  (moves  to  D.L.) 

Jed.  J.  Then  you'd  better  send  to  Devonshire. 

Bell.  Devonshire  1 

Jed.  J.  (herring  business)  I'm  going  home  for  the 
festivities,  (going  over  to  door  L.)  I'll  come  downstairs  with 
jou.  They  are  wretched  stairs,  and  I  don't  want  y.>u  to 
break  your  neck— at  least  before  Monday,  (exit  h.,  followed 
by  Bellaby) 

£nler  Job  b.  ;  he  carries  a  pair  of  muddy  boots  and  boot 
brushes. 

JoR.  (disconsolately)  I  wonder  how  long  this  attic  business 
is  going  to  last.  It  ain't  fit  for  the  gentleman's  gentleman, 
let  alone  for  the  gentleman  himself,  (begins  brushing  boots ; 
then  stops)  Better  clean  'em  outside,  for  fear  the  dust  should 
get  on  the  droring  room  furniture,  (disappears  through 
windotv) 

Knock  at  door  l.,  followed  by  entrance  of  Dora  ;  she  is 
dressed  in  light  grey,  and  carries  a  purse  in  her  hand. 

Dora.  (i^p  ^--C-  front  table)  These  can't  be  his  rooms.  Yet 
Nelly  certainly  got  out  at  this  house  when  we  drove  up 
from  the  station,  and  I've  tried  all  the  other  floors.  I 
should  have  asked  those  two  young  men  I  met  on  the  stairs, 
but  when  a  gentleman  in  a  dilapidated  coat  is  heaping  curses 
on  the  head  of  all  things  feminine,  especially  marriageable 
things,  it  is  an  ill-chosen  moment  for  a  timid  female  to  ask 
af  vour.  In  the  meantime  what  am  I  to  do  about  Nelly's 
purse  ?  I  don't  wonder  that  she  left  it  in  the  cab,  she  was  so 
excited  about  meeting  her  brother  again,  (gets  book  from 
sideboard;  reads  inside)  "Christopher  Jedbury  Junior." 
Then  it  it  is  right,  (business  with  poker  chips  and  cards  ;  takes 
up  race  card)  Newmarket  !  (puts  card  down  ;  goes  to  table) 
What  an  extraordinary  place.  I  suppose  I'd  better  wait.  I 
wonder  if  I  might  help  myself  to  a  cup  of  tea  ?  (pours  from 
teapot  into  cup)  I  am  just  dying  of  thirst,  (tastes  and  put 
cup  down)  "Tea!  So  this  is  a  sample  of  ''dear  brother 
Chris,'  (crosses  c.)  the  hero  that  Nelly  has  set  up  for  me  to 
worship!  (smiles)  Forewarne  t — forearmed  I  Why,  there  ia 
another  door.  Then  probably  this  is  only  the  kitchen. 
(goes  to  door  r.  a7id  knocks ;  then  opens  and  goes  in) 

Enter  Jedbury  Junior,  l. 

Jed.  J.  Phew!  I've  got  that  much  oS  my  mind,  at  any 
rate.  (Grosses  to  R.c.  a')id  picks  up  second  bracket  wliich  /i« 
affixes  to  wail)  This  morning  I  said  to  myself  (looks  round) 


20  CHRISTOPHER  JUNIOR. 

where  is  that  hammer  ?  {fiiuU  it)  T  said  to  myaelf — a  visit 
from  my  Guv'nor,  and  afur  that  the  Deluge!  (pause)  Yet  the 
Deluge  wasn't  alttigether  the  end  of  things.  If  I  re- 
member rightly,  it  was  only  the  beginning,  (drops  nail) 
Where  the  deuce  did  that  go  to  ?  (looks  along  floor)  After 
the  Deluge  a  grey  dove  came  forth  (enter  Dora  r.  unper- 
ceived)  who —  (still  looking  for  nail — gets  close  to  Dora  and 
sees  her  skirt ;  his  eye  gradually  travels  np — he  starts)  His- 
tory is  repeating  itself. 

Dora  (a  little  c.)  I  beg  your  pardon.  I  wish  to  see  Mr. 
Jedbury. 

Jed.  J.  (looking  confusedly  at  his  shabby  coat)  Not  at  home. 
Not  at  home,  (aside)  SVho  is  she  1 

Dora.  I'm  sorry  for  that.     Perhaps  I  might  wait. 

Jed.  J.  (more  confused)  Oh,  there's  no  knowing  when  he'll 
be  in.    He's  erratic. 

Dora.  But  he  lives  here  ? 

Jed.  J.  Well,  er  -  yes.     To  a  certain  extent. 

Dora.  I  see.  He  stnys  here  with  you  ? 

Jed.  J.  Yes,  that's  it.     We  — share  and  share  alike. 

Dora.  I've  no  doubt  you  can  give  me  the  information  I 
require.  I  wish  to  know  at  which  hotel  Mr.  Jedbury's 
pe<  iple  are  staying. 

Jed.  J.  At  the — at  the  Burlington. 

Dora.  Thank  you.  (crosses,  l.  )  I  am  sorry  to  have  troubled 
you.   (goes  to  door,  l.) 

Jed.  J,  Don't  mention  it.  I — I — will  you  leave  your 
name  ? 

Dora,  (smiling)  Mr.  Jedbury  would  not  be  any  the  wiser, 
I  assure  you.     Good  morning. 

Jed.  j.   Good  morning  ! 

Dora.  Tlie  Burli  gtoii,  I  think   you  said? 

Jep.  j.  The  Bu'lington. 

Dora.  Good  morning  !  (exit,  L.)  (Jed.  J.  remains  staring 
at  the  door) 

Jed.  J.  '"And  the  dove  went  from  the  Ark  and  returned 
not  again."  I  wonder  whether  Noah  ever  came  across  tliat 
dove  when  he  g(*  on  drv  land,  (sinks  in  chair  L.  of  tabU 
and  watches  where  Dora  vnit  off) 

Medium  Curiaik. 


ACT  II. 

(SciCNR.  —  A  corner  of  f'f  hull  in  Jkiuiitry  "^kxior's  house  in 
Devonxh'nc  ;  door  at  !)■■  ck  li.,  and  French  tvnidi.w  {'practi- 
cable) L.(;.  ;  staircase  to  arckmuy  up  h.;  entrance  L.I.E. 

As  cnrtnin  rises  enter  Footman  l.i.b.  ;  he  arranges  tuhl^ 
and  Iv'o  chairs  h.  ;  Major  FIe  way  enltrs  r.u.e.» 
followed  by  Whimi'ER  ;  Die  Major  is  about  sixty- 
five  years  old,  but  brisk  and  hearty  in  his  manner  J 
his  dress  is  extremehj  juvenile,  and  someuliat  dandified  5 
he  might  have  the  least  suspicion  of  an  Irish  accent. 

Major.  Finished  dinner,  Whimper  <( 

Whimp.  (r.c.)  Yes,  sir.  Coffee  will  be  served  here,  sir. 
If  you'll  kindly  take  a  seat,  sir. 

Major,  (r.c.)  Very  good.     Are  (ve  the  first  ? 

Whimp.  Yes,  sir.  (Whimper  ptns  red  _^o?oerw  ^/(C  Major's 
coat) 

Major.  What's  bec'>me  of  my  niece.  Miss  Dora? 

Whimp.  She  went  up  to  see  Mi«s  Jedbury  in  her  room,  sir. 

Major.  Are  you  expecting  many  ladies  this  evening, 
Whimper? 

Whimp.  A  good  many  young  la  lies,  sir.  (slightly  up  stage 
L.C.) 

Major.  Real'y  !     Heally  !  (turning)     How  is  my  coat  ? 

Whimp.  (coming  down  and  arranging  his  coat)  A  little— 
that's  all  right,  sii\ 

Major.  No  crease  ? 

Whimp    None,  sir 

Major,  (k.)  4  man  approaching  the  prime  of  life  cannot 
be  ton  {larticular  aljout  creases,  whether  they  are  in  liis  coat, 
or  hits  constitution.   Do  you  play  chess,  Whimper  ? 

Whimp.  No,  sir  ;  but  draughts  is  a  game — 

Major.  Draughts  be  damned. 

Whimp.  Tus,  sir. 

Ma  job.  Mow  chess  stimulates  the  mental  faculties. 

Whisip.  (respectfully  withilraiviig)  Ai\y  thing  more,  sir? 

Major  Yi^s  It  renews  the  exhausted  vitality.  Look  at 
tii''  !  Who  would  believe  Hiat  !  was  forty  last  birthday  ? 

Whimp.   (otialeml  ivth  Majou — after  pause)  Nobody,  sir. 

Majok.  {npto  him  conRdfuHally)  The  recipe  is  a  secret, 
but  I'll  give  it  to  you.  A  twenty  minutes'  sleep  to  be  taken 
twice  a  day  after  me.il.s,  and  a  faithful  application  to  the 
game  of  c/c.s.s.  Don't  forget  tliat.  Whimper  !  (dcnrn  R.) 

Whimp.  No,  sir.  (exit  c.  to  &.  of ter  waiting  for  Jed.  Sen.) 


22  CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR. 

Enter  Christophee  Jedbury  Senior,  o.  from  B. 

Jed.  S.  Ah,  Major,  as  punctual  as  ever — always  the  first, 
eh? 

Major.  You  forget  I  am  a  military  man.  {shakes  hands 
heartily) 

Jed.  S.  Say  rather  that  you  were  a  military  man,  for  your 
signature  to  those  papers  has  transformed  you  into  an  East 
India  merchant. 

*  Major.  All  owing  to  the  contemptible  ingratitude  of  the 
nation  that  puts  a  young  and  able-bodied  man  on  the  retired 
list, 

Jed.  S.  The  nation's  loss  is  my  gain,  Major.  Your 
influence  with  the  Rajahs  will  double  our  Bombay  profits  in 
a  year. 

Major.  I  wouldn't  be  too  sure  of  that,  (laughs)  There 
was  never  a  Hedway  yet  that  knew  enough  about  business 
to  get  change  for  a  shilling  —unless  it  was  the  Queen's  shilling. 
(sits  on  scat  b  .  of  stairs) 

Jed.  S.  Well,  it  is  my  risk.  And  as  for  you,  man  must 
have  an  occupation,  if  only  to  keep  him  out  of  mischief. 

Major,  (nodding)  And  my  liver  won't  let  ine  exist  out  of 
India. 

Jed.  S.  Your  niece  talks  of  remaining  behind,  I  under- 
stand. 

Major.  Yes,  Dora's  got  her  mind  fixed  on  a  convent. 
(lavghs)  A  convent  I  It's  enough  to  make  the  dead  and 
gone  Hedways  come  out  of  their  graves  !  (rises)  She  says 
she  wants  tranquillity.  Now,  if  she  would  only  learn  chess  — 
you  play  chess,  Jedbury  1  (crosiics  L. ) 

Jed.  S.  a  very  little,  (voices  off)  Here  are  the  ladies. 
This  is  the  only  coiner  of  the  hnuse  left  us,  Major.  Every- 
where else  is  given  to  Nelly  and  tier  young  folks,  (looks  at 
watch)  We've  just  time  for  a  cup  of  cullee  in  peace  and 
quiet,   (crosses  L.) 

Enter  Mrs.  Jedbury  and  Mrs  Glibb,  k.u.e.  ;  they  are 
chatting  ;  Mr.  Glibe  follows. 

Mrs.  J.  (shaking  hands)  Welcome  to  Devonshire,  Major. 
{turning)  Our  friends,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Glibb,  Major  Hedway. 
{she  goes  up  back  and  drops  down  to  sit  head  of  table  after 
Glibb  is  seated  l.) 

Fositions  : — Mrs.    Jedbury,    r.c.  ;    Mrs.   Glibb,    c.  ; 

Mr.  Glibb,  l.c. 
Glibb   comes  futuard  as   if    to  sliake  hands,  but   Mrs. 

Glibb  sk^^s  in  ftont  c(/   him,  aiid  Its  goes  to  his  seat, 

txtreme  h. 


CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR.  23 

MiiS.  G.  Dcliglited  !  So  good  of  Mrs.  Jedbury  to  invite 
U'-.  Mr.  Glibb  will  be  enchnntecl  to  know  you.  He  takes 
S'l.  h  an  interest  in  tlie  militi  i.  {lowering  her  vvice)  Nature 
intended  Mr.  Glibb  forasddier — a  leader  of  nations — but 
unfortunately  he  met  nie    (s'/jhs) 

Major.  And  surrendered.  (gallantly)  Sure,  it's  no 
wonder,     (they  sit— Mrs.  G.   r.  of  stairs,  Major  on  her  left) 

Enter  Whimper  with  coffee. 

Mrs.  J.  Will  you  have  some  coffee,  Mrs.  Glibb? 

Mrs.  G.  Tliank  you.  (to  Glibb  who  is  about  to  take  cnp 
from  Whimper)  George,  you  had  better  not  take  any.  It 
makes  him  so  excitable.  (Whimper  crosses  r.  to  Mrs.  G.  ; 
Major  and  Jed.  S.  r.) 

Jed.  S.  {on  cliair  l.  of  s fairs — tasting  coffee  and  turning  to 
Glibb)  This  is  somotliing  peculiarly  fine  ;  I  import  it  myself 
from  Java.  (Glibb  lo'>hilomiinghj  at  Jed.  S.'s  enp  ;  Mrs.  G. 
converses  inandibly  with  tJte  MAJouiohile  Jed.  S.  continues  to 
address  Glibb)  Ah,  my  dear  Glibb,  you  are  not  in  business, 
I  believe  ?  (Glibb  shakes  his  head  and  prepares  to  speak)  An 
arduous  life,  sir,  and  one  which  makes  great  demands  on  the 
intellectual  faculties.  The  reward  comes  when  a  man  can 
lean  back — (le'ins  back)  in  his  chair  and  survey  the  result  of 
his  own  uniided  efforts,  {tastes  coffee.  Whimper  at  table  l.) 
Whimper,  (rises)  my  compliments  to  your  mistress,  and  lam 
accustomed  to  take  sugar  in  my  coffee,  {hands  cup  to 
Whimper  and  goes  up  at  back  ;  Whimper  is  at  table) 

Mrs.  J.  Whimper!  (Whimper  crosses  r.)  Ycur  master 
has  already  had  three  lumps.  If  he  chooses  to  ruin  his 
digestion  it  is  no  affair  of  mine,  (crosses  r.  and  sits  L  of  stairs  ; 
Whimper  carries  it  to  Jed.  S.,  who  signs  to  him  to  put  it  on 
table  ;  Jedbury  then  absently  hands  suyar  to  Glibb,  who, 
hanngno  coffee,  qniell]i  takes  sif^a)'  and  eats  if, 

Mrs.  G.  Then  you  have  never  entered  the  matrimunial 
field,  Major? 

Major.  No,  that  is  the  only  engagement  I  ever  ran  away 
from       VV.  inian  is  man's  natural  born  enemy. 

Mrs.  J    But  you've  been  told  to  love  your  enemy,  Major. 

Jkd.  S.  Bah  ! 

Major.  True,  and  as  a  God-fearing  man,  I've — I've  done 
it.  it  has  been  at  onue  my  pain  and  my  delight  to  love 
them  all — at  a  distance. 

Mrs   G.  But  it  was  your  duty  to  make  a  choice. 

Major.   What— and  slight  all  the  otliers  ? 

Mrs.  J.   Ah,  Major  Ile.iway,  you've  n  .'vcr  been  under  fire 

Major.  Indeed  I  have,  but  after  taking  an  inventory  of 
my  wounds  I  have  always  come  to  the  conclusion  that  dis- 


24  CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR. 

cretion  Is  the  better  part  of  valour.  (Whimper  exits  quietly 
through  door  r. u.e. )  Ah,  ah  !  Allow  me  !  {rises  and  crosses 
to  table  L.  with  Mrs.  G.'s  cujy) 

Mrs.  G.  Indeed.  Quite  a  character,  and  I  adore  charac- 
ter. Major  Hedway,  you  must  positively  come  to  our  next 
theatrical  performance. 

Major.   Delighted,  {comes  c.) 

Mrs  J.  They're  making  quite  a  stir  in  the  dramatic  world. 

Major.   Ah  !  Indeed. 

Mrs.  G.  Now,  Major!  {taps  him  loith  fan)  Only  yester- 
day {going  up  to  Mrs.  J.)  the  committee  waited  on  Mr, 
Glibb  in  a  body  and  iiDplored  him,  positively  implored  him, 
to  forsake  the  amateur  for  the  professional  stage. 

Major.  God  bless  me  ! 

Mrs.  G.  He  expostulated  with  them  for  two  hours. 
{appealing  to  Glibb)  It  must  have  been  quite  two  hours, 
George  ?  {Glibb  prepares  to  speak)  Yes,  I  thought  so.  And 
in  spite  of  all  his  arguments  they  would  not  take  no  for  aa 
answer. 

Major.  H'm  1 

Mrs.  J.  It  was  very  flattering,  {rises,  crosses  down  R.,  puts 
cup  on  mantel) 

Mrs.  G.  Mr.  Glibb's  own  remark.  It  teas  flattering. 
(cro.«(S  L  <o  Major)  Major  Hedway,  I  should  like  you  to 
become  better  acquainted  with  Mr.  Glibb.  {impressively) 
He's  a  wonderful  man. 

Mrs.  J.  {going  tip)  Major,  {crosses  to  R.C.)  will  you  take 
Mrs.  Glibb  to  the  ball  room  ?  I  must  look  after  the  young 
people    {esiit  r.u.e.) 

Major,  {aside,  looking  at  Glibb)  I  wonder  if  the  mummy 
will  offer  any  objection  ! 

Mrs.  G.  (c.)  Ready,  Major,  (turning,  he  turns  towards 
stairs  a)id  offers  his  arm)  Dau't  you  trouble  to  come,  George. 
{to  the  Major)  He  has  such  a  iiighly  strung  temperament, 
that  I  am  compelled  to  curb  his  activity. 

Enter  Whimper  c,  joes  to  Jed.  S.,  takes  cup,  crosses  to  table  &., 
takes  it  off  c.  ;  Major  and  Mrs.  G.  exit  up  stage. 

Jed.  S.  {rises — to  Glibb)  A  man  of  great  nerve,  the 
M  ijor.  (Gubb,  sugar  busini'ss)  Well  connected,  too.  Lived 
in  India  all  his  life.  Most  of  the  native  princes  are  frienda 
of  his.     {both  exit  r.u.e.) 

Whimper.  Well,  if  the  Major's  the  result  of  chess, 
draughts  is  good  enough  for  me. 

Hater  Jed.  J.  through  archtoay  c.R.  ;  he  is  vainly  strug- 
gling to  fix  his  white  tie  ;  one  end  is  mnch  longer  than 
tlie  other,  and  the  bow  sticks  under  his  chin. 


CHRISTOPilEIl  JUNIOll.  25 

Jed.  J.  {exi^itedly)  Not  a  sign  of  a  letter  from  Tom,  and 
I've  ruined  myself  in  telegrams.  If  he  hasn't  found  any- 
thing out,  why  the  duce  couldn't  he  wire  and  say  S')?  {pvlling 
af  iif)  I  knew  it,  and  this  is  the  last  one.  I've  ruined  three. 
I've  a  good  mind  to  put  my  pocket  handkerchief  round  my 
neck.  How  does  Job  manage  these  things  '<  I  mis/ht  as  well 
he  on  a  desert  island  for  all  the  assistance  I  shall  find  here. 
{tears  tie  off)  Confound  the  thing  !  {throws  it  on  the  floor) 

Enter  Dora,  r.u.e. 

Dora,  (l.o.,  gently)  No,  don't  do  that  1  Let  me  tie  it  for 
you. 

.Jkd.  J.  (r.c,  aside)   The  grey  dove  in  pink  plumage  1 

Dora.  (l.c.,  aside)  Young  Mr.  Jedhury's  eccentric  friend. 
{both  stoop  for  the  tie  and  knock  their  heads  toriether) 

Jed.  J.  I  beg  ten  thousand  pardons    {botJi  hold  tie) 

Dora.  One  will  do.  {smiles)  I've  had  harder  knocks  than 
that,  {puts  fan  and  handkerchief  on  chair  L.  of  stairs  ;  flips  tie 
away  from  him ;  taking  He)  Hold  up  your  chin.  (Dora  puts 
tie  round  his  neck) 

Jed.  J.  But  I  couldn't  think  of —  {turns  his  head  away) 

Dora,  {impatiently  jerking  his  head  round)  Oh  yes,  you 
could. 

Jed.  J.  But  really  I —  {turn  ing  his  head  away)  Who  the 
deuce —  1 

Dora.  If  you  don't  want  to  be  strangled  you  had  better 
keep  still,  {arranges  tie) 

Jed.  J.  {aside)  Who  on  earth  can  she  be  ?  (Dora  jerks  his 
head  round  ana  he  remain,s  gazing  at  her  till  she  has  finished) 

Dora.  There,  I  think  that  will  do.  {steps  back  and  goes  up 
a  little) 

Jed.  J.  I'm  sure  it  will,  beautifully,  {aside)  I  wish  I  could 
get  it  undone  again,  {crosses  l.  aloud)  If  it  wouldn't  be 
troubling  you  too  much,  yoa  might  tighten  this  wibbly- 
wobbly  bit.  (Dora  does  so) 

Dora.  There,  {going)  Nuw.  remember,  the  next  time  you 
have  any  differences  of  opinion  with  a  white  tie  you  must 
exercise  a  little  patience,  and  don't  "confi)ind  the  thing," 
for  J  may  not  be  by  to  settle  your  dilhcuhi.  s.  Good  l)ye. 
{picks  up  fan  and  leaves  her  handkerchief  without  noticing  and 
exits  R. ) 

Jed.  J.  (looking  after  hey)  She's  gone,  confound  it  !  Who 
is  she  1  She's  an  apparition— must  be.  Now  you  see  her, 
now  you  don't.  Yes,  she's  a  vision— a  vision  of  loveliness. 
Hello  !  {picks  up  handkerchief)  A  spiritual  pocketbandker- 
chief.  (looks  at  corner)  "  D. H."  Now  what  does  "  D.H." 
stand  fori  Dark  horse — dead  heat-  damned  huri^—i/iat  fits 


26  CHKISTOPHER  JUNIOR. 

her  best,  I  wonder  if  I  could  improve  the  acquainf-ance? 
{siqfnnfj)  Perhaps  Matilda  wouldn't  like  it.  (enter  Nklly, 
K.i'.E.  ;  puts  handkerchief  in  pocket)  Why  haven't  I  heard 
from  Tom  1' 

Nelly,  (r.o.)  Hallo  !     Chris  ! 

Jed.  J.  Nell,  has  Tom  Bellaby  turned  up  yet? 

Nelly,  (pouting)  No  ;  and  I  think  it's  very  rude  of  him 
to  be  so  late,  (crosses  to  stairs) 

Jed.  J.  Of  course  it  is.  He's  a  scoundrel  of  the  first 
order.  He  promised  to  write  to  me,  here,  on  a  matter  of 
the  utmost  importance.  Nelly,  are  you  quite  sure  there  was 
no  letter  for  me  yesterday  ? 

Nelly,  (shaking  her  head)  Quite  sure.  I  should  have  seen 
it. 

Jed.  J.  Nelly,  who  is  the  pink  girl  ?  (Both  by  stairs) 

Nelly.   What  is  she  like  ? 

Jed.  J.  Don't  ask  me,  Nell.  She's  a  sort  of  angelic  ghost. 
{goes  L.c.) 

Nelly.  The  description  is  too  vague,  (going  to  him.) 
Remember  you  have  promised  to  make  yourself  agreeable 
to  my  friend,  Dora.  As  soon  as  I  have  helped  Mamma  to 
say  how  d'ye  do  to  everybody  I'll  introduce  you.   (up  R.) 

Jed   J,   Where  is  father  ? 

Nelly.  I  don't  know.  I  think  he  and  mother  have  had 
a  tiff  since  dinner.  Whimper  seems  to  be  very  busy.  But 
I  must  run  away.  Mind,  T  expect  you  to piy  great  attention 
to  Dora.  (Nelly  exits  up stuircase  r. ) 

Jed.  J.   Certainly.    Meanwhile (enter  Whimper  frim 

L.I.E.)  I'll  try  and  find  my  Will-o'-the-Wisp.  (looking  off 
archway)  There  she  is  ag:iin. 

Whimp.  I  beg  your  pardon,  sir.  Have  you  seen  the 
master  ? 

Jed.  J.  No,  Whimper  ;    who  is  that  young  lady  ? 

Whimi  (looking  off)  Miss  Hed^vay,  sir.  Slajor  Hedway'a 
niece.  (tur')is  L.  aiid  goes  up  stage) 

Jed.  J.  By  Jove  I  My  intended  !  (looks  off)  Ah  I  she's 
gone,  (exit  r.) 

Whimp.  I  wonder  where  the  master  can  be  ?  (Enter 
Jed.  S.,  c,  from  l.  Whimper  nifets  him)  I  beg  your 
pirdon,  sir.  (handing  letter)  I  found  this  letter  under  your 
de.sk,  sir.  It  is  marked  "important."  It  must  have  fallen 
from  yesterday's  bag. 

Jeu.  S.    Who  brought  the  bag  yesterday  J 

WniMP.  George,  sir. 

Jed.  S    Dismiss  hiia. 

WuiaiP.  Yes,  sir. 


CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR.  37 

Jed.  S.  At  once. 

Whimp.  Yes,  sir.  (exit  Whimper,  o.r.) 

Jei>.  8.  (takiiuj  letter)  It  is  yesterday's  postmark,  {opens 
letter)     What  is  this  ?  (reads) 

"My  dear  Christopher, — I've  nothing  very  satisfactory  to 
report  about  your  affairs.  I  find  the  Colonel  has  been  dead 
two  years,  and  no  trace  of  his  daughter,  y^'ur  wife,  is  to  be 
iound.  (sits  h.c.)  It  will  be  difficult  to  obtain  evidence  of 
the  ceremony,  but  I  should  advise  you  to  steer  clear  of 
matrimony  till  more  can  be  learned.  I  am  sorry  for  you,  old 
man,  but  if  you  will  get  yourself  into  equivocal  situations 
you  must  take  the  consequences. — Yours  always,  T.  B." 
(Lookiitg  at  envelope)  "  Christopher  Jedbury,  Enquire."  Thia 
must  be  a  mistake.  "  T.B."  Ah,  it  is  from  young  Bellamy, 
and  it  is  intmded  for  my  son.  (glances  quicMy  over  letter,  tJicn 
starts)  So,  the  young  blackguard  is  married  and  separated 
from  his  wife — a  fitting  climax  to  his  disgraceful  career. 
(crosses  L.,  walking  to  and  fro,  crushing  the  letter  in  silent 
passion)  And  not  a  word,  not  a  word  about  it,  when  I  sug- 
gested marriage  to  him.  I  have  invited  this  rascal  to  my 
house,  (suddenly)  He  shall  not  remain  here,  (c.)  I  have 
been  weak— weak — but  this  ends  it.  (sits  chair  up  stage  L.) 
My  son — for  whom  I  have  toiled,  that  he  might  rest — for 
whom  I  have  savtd  money  that  he  might  spend  it.  The 
boy  who  was  to  have  shed  lustre  on  the  name  of  Jedbury 
The  gentleman  who  was  to  have  raised  the  tradesman  to  the 
summit  of  his  ambition.  And  this — this  is  the  end  of  my 
life's  work. 

Enter  Jed.  J.  at  archway  R.,  looking  hack. 

Jed.  J.  It's  no  use.  The  s{)ectre's  vanished  again,  (he 
conies  downstairs,  sees  Jed.  S.)  What's  the  matter,  father? 
You  don't  seem  well,  (starts  to  come  down) 

Jed.  S.  (hiding  letter)  I  will  give  him  a  chance  of  explain- 
ing, (aloud)  It  is  nothing  I  have  been  thinking  of  business. 
By-the-bye,  Christopher,  what  about  my  proposition  1 

Jed.  J.  (c.)  (goes tip  io  him  a  little  carelessly)  Proposition? 
Ah  !  Well,  I've  been  considering  it. 

Jed.  S.  (watching  him  narrowly)  Indeed?  And  your  reply 
is  favourable  ? 

Jed.  J.  Distinctly  favourable  !  (Jed.  S.  controls  his  temper 
with  dijjicxdty)  I  have  had  the  good  fortune  to  see  the  lady. 

Jed,  S.  (sneeringly)  Oh  !  And  you  apprme  of  her? 

Jed  J.  I  don't  like  your  way  of  putting  it.  The  que.-tion 
is,  whether  she  is  ever  likely  to  approve  of  me.  I  say  ever 
because  I  shouldn't  think  of  asking  her  yet  awhile. 

Jed  S.  And  your  object  in  waiting  1 


28  CHRISTOPHER  JUNIOR. 

Jed.  J.  (earnestly)  Well,  the  fact  is,  father,  I've  a  n<>^inn 
that  I'm  capable  of  earning  my  living,  and  I  don't  int<^nd  tn 
marry  till  I've  put  my  theory  to  the  test. 

Jed.  S.  (sarcasticcdly)  Really  ?  Are  you  sure  that  is  your 
only  reason  ? 

Jed.  J.  Is  it  not  enough? 

Jed.S.  You  equivocate.  And  you  also  seem  a  little 
forgetful.  Suppose  I  suggest  another — a  different  sort  of 
Impediment. 

Jed.  J.  Impediment  ? 

Jed.  S.  (deliberately)  Yes,  your  being  already  married,  for 
instance. 

Jed.  J.  (crosses  dovm  Ti. — aside)  Good  Lord,  he's  found  it 
out.     It's  all  up. 

Jed.  S.  (folloiving  him  c.)  I  have  surprised  you.  Then 
bigamy  is  in  your  future  list  of  peccadilloes  ? 

Jed.  J.  (hecowing  serious)  No,  sir.  You  wrong  me.  The 
ridiculous  little  affair  to  which  you  allude  must,  of  course, 
be  illegal.     I  assure  you,  on  my  honour. 

Jed  S.  (contem.'piuonsly)  Your  honour.  Damn  it,  sir  ! 
your  honour  never  impelled  you  to  confess  to  this  '  ridiculous 
little  affair." 

Jed.  J.  No,  the  fact  is,  I  was  expecting  a  letter  of 
importance,  (confused)  And  I  was  temporising  until  it 
arrived. 

Jed.  S.  (bitterly)  Oh,  you  were  ?  (crosses  to  him)  Is  this  the 
letter  ?  (hands  letter) 

Jed.  J.  (reading  envelope)  "  Christopher  Jedbury, 
Esquire."  (aside)  Tom  Bellaby's  a  fool!  (turiisn,.) 

Jed.  S.  Now  the  letter  having  arrived,  further  temporis- 
ing is  unnecessary. 

Jed.  J.  (embarrassed)  Of  course  ,  but  you  see,  sir,  this 
turn  of  affairs  has  rather  upset  my  calculations.  Fot 
instance,  I  never  intended  you  to  see  tiiis  letter. 

Jed.  S.  I  gathered  that. 

Jed.  J.  What  the  deuce  am  I  saying  1 

Music  ready. 

Jed.  S.  But  I  am  quite  interested —go  on  1  (goes  L.o.  and 
sits) 

Jed.  J.  (crosses  to  him — unth  great  earnestness)  Father, 
there  has  never  been  any  sort  of  confidence  between  us. 
We  have  never  understood  one  another,  and  that  I  suppose 
made  me  diffident  when  I  got  into  difficulty.  But  with 
regard  to  the  difficulty  itself,  even  you,  when  you  learn  the 
particulars,  must  see  that  1  am  not  to  blame.  I'll  tell  you 
the  story,  (brings  chair  from  L.  doimi) 


CHKISTOPHER   JUNIOR.  29 

Jed.  S.  (passionately)  No,  sir.  (rises)  Even  my  endur- 
ance has  a  limit.  Not  a  word  of  tliis  disgraceful  intrii,'uo 
will  I  hear,  so  spare  yourself  a  i  issue  of  lies. 

Jed.  J.   Father,  upon  my  soul.   (Jed.  S.  cro.-ses  R.  anijr'dy) 

Jed.  S.  Consider  our  relations  severed,  (musicfor  Lancers) 
From  this  moment  you  are  in  my  house  under  protest. 
{goes  lip  R.c.) 

Music  heard  off;  Netxy  wnes  k.  to  top  of  s!airs. 

Nelly.  (c<dling)  Chris —Chris,  you're  wanied.  Lots  of 
people  have  come — you  must  h  dp  me  to  start  them  dan.  ing. 
I've  told  theiu  to  play  an  ext.a.  (exit  Nelly  back  throuijh 
■irclnvay  R.) 

Music  continues  softly. 

Jed.  3.  (quietly,  crosses  up  r.)  Then  I  will  relieve  you  of  my 
I'l''  Stance,  (crosses  r.  ;  Jed.  S.  bows,  goes  towards L.,  theit,  halts 
liuWii  l.c.  ) 

Jed.   S.  I  suppose  you  have  no  definite  plans  ? 

Jed.  J.  (halting)  I  dou't  think,  sir,  you  have  any  right 
to  enquire. 

Jed.  S.  I  have  a  motive  in  asking,  (gelling  c.)  You  sjioke 
with  some  grandeur  just  now  aliour  earning  a  liviig.  (smiles) 
I  am  curious  to  put  your  words  to  the  test.  I  hear  tJjat 
Simpson,  my  managing  man  in  Bomljay,  lias  discharg.d  a 
chrk  ;  I  have  to  send  someone  out  at  once.  For  Christopher 
Jedbui-y,  Junior,  my  scm,  to  go.  would  lower  the  dignity  of 
the  firm,  but  as  I  have  already  disowned  you  your  name  is  a 
blank  for  you  to  fill  up.  Those  are  my  cojilitions — there  is 
the  position.     Take  it,  or  leave  it.   (walks  away  acnss  l.) 

Jed.  J.  I  will  take  it. 

Jed.  S.  (surprised)  Ah  !  Well  !  If  in  two  years  Mr.  Simp- 
son's account  of  the  new  clerk  is  satisfactory  1  may  see  fit  to 
revoke  my  decree.  In  the  meantime  T  will  trust  to  that 
honour  which  you  are  so  fond  of  p.>ia<ling. 

Jed.  J.  (abruptly)  WU  it  is  it  you  want  ? 

Jed.  S.  That  you  communicate  with  no  one  here  in  Devon- 
shire. 

Jed.  J,  (after  a  pause)  I  promise. 

Jed  S.  As  for  the  details  of  your  journey,  they  can  be 
arranged  by  letter. 

Jed.  J.  I  should  prefer  it. 

Jed.  S.   Then  there  is  nothing  more. 

Jed.  J.  Nothing.  (Jed  S  tarns  auay  and  goes  up) 
Stay  !  (Jed  S.  stops  and  turns)  There  is  something.  You 
may  remember  a  shahljy  fellow  you  met  at  my  London 
lodyiiigs.  [f  you  could  arrange  to  give  liim  some  rough 
work  in  your  Bombay  house,  he  would  be  fuuaJ  a  handy  man. 


30  CHRISTOPHER  JUNIOR. 

Jed.  S.  It  shall  be  arranged. 

Jkd.  J.  Thank  you.  (aside)  I've  secured  a  place  for  Job, 
and  I  shan't  be  without  a  friend. 

Jed.  S.  {coming  down  a  little)  Tf  you  desire  to  remain 
through  the  evening  it  might  be  better  for  appearances. 

Jed.  J.  Men  in  my  position  do  not  have  to  consider 
app  arances. 

Jed.  S.  (relenting)  Still,  you  might  as  well  remain.     (l.c.) 

Jed.  J.  I  should  prefer  that  you  made  my  excuses. 

Jed.  S.  Very  well,  (approaching  him)  As  this  is  to  be 
"Good  bye"  we  may  as  well  simulate  friendship,  (extends 
his  haiud  ;  comes  down  R.) 

Jed.  J.  (declining  his  hand)  You  forget,  sir,  I  am  no 
longer  your  son — your  clerk  should  beware  of  undue 
familiarity,   (tur its  away) 

Jed.  S.  As  you  please,  (pause,  then  goes  to  c.)  At  any  rate, 
I  have  done  my  duty,  (extends  his  hand  again,  puts  it  back^ 
goes  up  to  door  ;  exit  c.R.) 

Lancers  finish. 

Jed.  J.  Your  name  is  a  blank  for  you  to  fill  up.  I 
wonder  who  it  was  that  first  said  "Give  a  dog  a  bad 
name  and  you  may  as  well  hang  him  at  once."  I 
think  I'll  go  on  the  terrace  and  smoke — no,  I  won't  smoke, 
it's  extravagant,  (si's  L.c.)  I  shall  liave  to  walk  to  the  station 
— that's  five  miles.  There's  a  moon— tliat's  some  comfort.  It's 
a  queer  sensation  being  thrown  out  of  one's  home  [business 
with  money)  It's  luck}'  I  took  a  return  ticket.  The  stock  of 
ready's  very  low.  I  suppose  what  they  call  my  personal 
eifects  will  fetch  something.  There's  always  a  corresponding 
advantage  even  in  a  dilemma  like  mine.  I  have  to  part  with 
my  clothes,  and  I'm  going  to  a  climate  where  I  shan't  need 
any.  I  wonder  what  Tom  said  in  that  letter  (sees  that  he  has 
torn  it  up)  It  will  take  me  some  time  to  find  out  now.  (kneels 
and  btgitis  to  pick  up  small  pneces  ;  reads  small  piece) 
"  Nothing  satisfactory  to  report."  I  might  have  known  it. 
(coutiwies  to  gather  uj)  pieces) 

Enter  Dora  at  archway  b.,  fanning  herself. 

Dora.  I  hate  the  Lancers.  I  shall  wait  till  the  round 
dances  begin,  (looks  at  programme)  "  Mr.  Jedbury  for  the 
Lancers."  Why  will  eldeily  gentlemen  insist  on  dancing 
when  it  makes  them  putF?  i  wonder  what  has  become  of  the 
son  !  The  hero  I  have  heard  so  much  about  but  have  never 
seen.  1  am  sure  I  shall  dislike  him.  I  hate  dissipated  people, 
(.sees  Jed  J.)  What  on  earth  is  that  young  man  doing  there? 
Gracious — it  is  my  poor  helpless  friend  again.  He's  always 
oa  the  floor. 


CHRISTOPHER  JUNIOR.  31 

Je0.  J.  (looking  up ;  adde)  My  fairy  queen,  (she  turns  to 
go ;  aloud)  Uon't,  don't  fade  away— for  a  minute  or  two. 
The  mortal  is  in  trouhle. 

Dora.   And  what  is  the  matter  now  1 

Jed.  J.  Everytliing  (still  on  floor) 

Dora,  (pointing  to  torn  paper)  What  is  that  1 

Jed.  J.  That,  that's  a  letter.  I'm  endeavouring  to  master 
the  contents. 

Dora.  Why  don't  you  get  up  ? 

Jed.  J.  (staring  at  her)  Eh  ? 

Dora.  Get  up. 

Jed.  J.  Certainly,  (rises,  dusts  his  knees  with  hia  hand- 
kerchief. 

Dora.  You  look  as  if  you'd  had  a  shock. 

Jed.  J.  Yes  !  I've  had  a  bit  of  a  blow. 

Dora  .  Indeed  ?  I  am  very  sorry. 

Jed.  J.  (with  animation)  Are  you  1  That's  awfully  good  of 
you— I  mean  you're  very  kind,  don't  you  know. 

Dora.  Doesn't  it  strike  you  that  it  would  be  as  well  to  get 
Bomeone  to  introduce  us  1 

Jed.  J.  No— not  now.  I  want  to  be  alone,  (she  goes  R.) 
Alone  with  you,  I  mean. 

Dora.  Really,  you  must  excuse  me.  (goes  to  stairs  R.) 

Jed.  J.  But  an  introduction  is  quite  unnecessary.  You  are 
Miss  Hedway. 

Dora,  (laughing)  How  did  you  know  that  1 

Jed.  J.  I'm  right,  am  I  not  ? 

Dora.  Oh,  yes,  quite  right.  I  am  Dora  Her! way. 

Jed.  J.  (astonished)  Dora  !  Not  blue  spectacles — I  mean 
not  Miss  Jedbury's  school  friend  ! 

Dora,  (nodding)  You  seem  surprised  ? 

Jed.  J.  I  am.  You  see  I  hoard  tliat  you  were  very 
superior  and  clever  and  all  that  sort  of  thing,  you  know. 

Dora.  How  funny  ! 

Jed.  J.  (confused)  I  don't  mean  that— I  mean— I  don't 
know  what  I  mean  !  (goes  l.  a  little) 

Dora.  I  don't  believe  you  do.     May  I  ask  yow  name  ? 

Jed.  J.  (aside)  Name  !  By  George  !  I  haven't  thought  of 
one  yet.     (aloud)  My  name  ?     Well,  it's  a— blank. 

Dora.  A.  Blank?  What  does  the  "A"  stand  for? 
Arthur,  I  sappose.  Arthurs  are  always  irrational  sort  of 
people. 

Jed.  J.  (aside)  Good  !  I'm  christ-.:ned,  and  that  relieves 
me  of  a  great  respi  msibility. 

Dora.  (bus.  with  programme)  Come,  Mr.  Bhink,  you  seem 
rather  sorry  for  yourself.  Shall  (  take  pity  on  you  and  give 
you  the  first  waltz  1  (sits  on  couch  &. ) 


32  CHEISTOPHER    JUNIOR. 

Jed.  J.  (stands  by  couch  r.)  Miss  Hedway,  yon  are  an 
ani;el,  but  the  f.ict  is,  I  am  not  exactly  a  gut-Pt  here.  I  am 
only  a  clerk  of  Mr.  Jedbury's,  and,  having  had  the  interview 
for  which  I  came,  I  have  to  return  to  London. 

DoKA.  What  ?  He  hasn't  asked  you  to  remain  ? 

Jed.  J.  No. 

Dora.  Oh,  I  see  1     The  intervipw  was  not  exactly 

Jed.  J.  Cordial  ?    No,  not  to  any  great  extent. 

Dora.  Don't  think  me  rude.  You  see,  I  often  take  an 
interest  in  gentlemen — in  a  motherly  sort  of  way. 

Jed.  J.   What  ? 

Dora.  Oh,  yes,  I  know  I  am  young,  (sighs)  But  I've  had 
tremendous  experience. 

Jed.  J.  (siirprised)  What  !  Not  in  a  motherly  sort  of  way  ? 

Dora,  (rises  and  crosses  l.c.  )  What  I  mean  is,  that  we 
have  a  bond  of  sympathy.  You  see  I  h-ive  discovered  that 
you  don't  regard  women  from  a  sentimental  point  of  view, 
and  as  1  am  going  into  a  convent,  we  both  can  aCFord  to  be 
perfectly  frank. 

Jed  J.  (rises,  goes  to  her  c.)  Can  we?  Then  I  should 
strongly  advise  you  against  the  convent  business — a  good 
deal  of  gameness  in  a  convent  ! 

Dora.  1  hat  is  what  Uncle  says  ! 

JiD  J.  Ah  !  your  uncle  is  evidently  a  man  of  sense. 
(slight  pause)  Well,  I  suppose  I  must  be  getting  along. 

Dora.  If  you  should  happen  to  chanue  your  mnid,  and 
remain  for  the  waliz,  you  niHy  hold  me  to  my  promise. 

Jed.  J.  May  I  ?  (aside)  By  George,  I  should  like  to. 
(going  upstairs,  aloud)  I  take  great  interest  in  you,  Miss 
Hedway  ! 

Dora.  Mr.  Blank  1 

Jed.  J.  Oh,  I  often  take  an  interest  in  girls— in  a  fatherly 
Bort  of  way.  (exits  upstairs  quickly  ;  Dora  looks  after  him  over 
balusters) 

Enter  Jed.  S.  and  Major,  r.u.b. 

Major.  Ah,  Dora,  my  girl !  (coming  down  R,  of  Jed.  S.) 
When  you  come  to  Bombay  you  must  come  and  stay  with 
me.   (c.) 

Jed.  S.  (rfoiitiL.)  I  go  to  Bombay  very  seldom  nowadays. 
My  manager  out  there  is  a  very  superior  person.  You'll 
find  it  quite  safe  to  leave  all  business  matters  to  him. 

Music  Ready. 

Major.  Can  he  play  chess  ? 

Jed  S.  I  doubt  it.  Business  men,  you  know,  accept 
recreation  aa  a  disagreeable  duty  1 


CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR.  33 

Dora,  (crosses  l.  in  front  o/ Major  io  Jed.  S.)  Very  well, 
Mr.  Jedbury,  I  shall  scratcli  your  name  off  my  programme. 
I  decline  to  be  a  party  to  any  disagreeable  duty. 

Jed.  S.  Oh,  now,  now  !  {goes  vp  stage  at  back  icith  her) 

Enter  Nelly  on  stairs  ;  she  comes  doum  l.  ;  Jed.  comes  down 

Nelly,  (speaks  from  top  of  stairs,  aside  to  Dora)  Dora,  I 
want  to  introduce  Christopher,  (looks  round  ;  crosses  l.)  Where 
is  he  ?  I  have  promised  that  you  will  give  him  the  first  waltz. 

Dora,  (r.c.)  Very  sorry,  dear,  it's  gone  ! 

Nelly.  What  a  pity  !  (crosses  to  Jed.  S.)  Papa,  what  has 
become  of  Christopher  ? 

Jed.  S.   lie  has  been  suddenly  called  away. 

Nelly,  (surprised)  What !  He's  not  gone  back  to  town  1 

Jed.  S.  Yes,  it  was  a  matter  of  business.  He  desired  me 
to  make  his  apologies,  {exit  R.) 

Nelly,  (aside)  Christopher  gone  and  without  bidding 
anyone  good  bye  !  What  can  have  happened  ?  (qnad^-ille) 
(Dora  goes  dou-n  extreme  R.     Exit  Nelly  r.xt  e.) 

Major,  (coftfidentially)  I  shall  sneak  otf  for  a  quiet 
smoke — if  anyone  asks  for  me,  you  don't  know  what  has 
become  of  me  !  (exits  door  l  .  ;  Dora  laughs) 

Enfer  Nelly  quickly  r.u.e. 

Nelly.  Oh,  Dora,  I'm  the  most  miserable  girl  in  all  the 
world,  (crosses  l.) 

Dora.    What's  the  matter  1  (l.c.) 

Nelly,  (r.c.)  There  has  been  a  terrible  quarrel  between 
Christopher  and  papa. 

Dora.  How  do  you  know  ? 

Nelly.  Mamma  is  in  hysterics.  I  asked  papa  what  was 
the  matter,  but  he  gave  me  one  stern  look  and  then  said, 
"  Nelly,  you  must  forgot  you  ever  had  a  brother  ;  Chris- 
topher is  dead."  (turns  to  dairs) 

Dora.  Oh,  Nelly,  what  do  you  mean  ? 

Nelly,  (bursting  into  tears)  Oh,  Dora,  what  shall  I  do  ? 
You'll  never  meet  him  now. 

Dora,  (crossing  to  r  )  I'm  so  sorry,  Nelly  dear  ! 

Nelly.  And  I've  got  to  go  and  dance  this  beastly  Quadrille  ! 
(exits  K.) 

Dora.  Poor  Nelly  !  What  a  shame  to  spoil  her  birthday 
party  !  This  must  be  the  old  gentleman's  day  for  hauling 
people  over  the  coals.  First  it's  the  poor  clerk,  and  then 
it's  his  own  son.  Oh,  I've  no  patience  with  him,  and  I've 
got  to  dance  with  him.  I  shall  go  and  hide  with  Uncle  in 
the  smoking-room,  (exits door  l.d.) 


34  CHEISTOPHER   JUNIOR. 

Jintei  .ISi).  .1.  ihriiiiijh,  <i.rchnyt,ij  i<,.,  c.ii.)r.iinij  oi'er'-jrxf,,  hat 
aiul  roXUdi  he  has  cluiii'ifjl  his  j/j;/t'-.-» ;  «/ifpr  liKLLAbT 
K.C. ;  .JkI).  J.  tJii'oiiis  coitt,  etc.,  on  cli'iii'. 

Bei.l.  W!iy,  Chris,  dU  niui,  wli.it's  up  ?  W'hero  »ro  yoa 
goiii'^. 

Jki».  J.  So  you've  come  at  last?  Nice  foliow  you  nre  t 
YoHve  done  it  1 

r.KLL.  Duiio  what  ? 

Jkij.  J.  That  letter! 

Bell.    Well,  what  about  it?  Didn't  you  get  it ^ 

Jeu.  J.  Oh  yes,  I  got  it ! 

Bell.   Well? 

Jeu.  J.   Wliy  hadn't  yoa  the  sense  to  direct  it  to  me? 

Bell.     I  did — Christopher  Jedbury,  Esquire. 

Jed.  J.  Well,  aren't  there  two  of  us?  Stupid  ! 

Bell.  Hang  it  all  !  I  forLjot  the  .Junior.  It  has  falloa  iuto 
your  guv'nor's  hands  1     1  am  awfully  sorry,  old  man  ! 

Jed.  J.  So  am  I.   What's  the  good  of  that  ? 

Bell.  N(jt  much.  Where  are  you  going? 

Jed.  J    To  India  ! 

Bell.  Are  you  serious  ? 

Jed.  J.  Do  I  look  as  if  1  were  joking?  Tom,  there  is  no 
sense  in  crying  over  spilt  milk  The  Cruv'nor  and  1  \\^vq  h\d 
a  split,  and  this  time  it  is  beyond  repiir.  i.p\di  dnon  bag 
iq)  darje  L.)  You'll  write  to  me  when  I  got  away,  for  I  trust 
to  you  to  be  the  one  little  connecting  link  batwoea  me  and 
England. 

Bell,  (l.)  But  your  sister  Nelly  ? 

Jed.  J.  (l.c.  ;  biting hia  lip)  I— I  have  givea  my  word  to 
hold  no  communication. 

Bell.  Upon  my  soul,  Chris,  I  am  sorry  ! 

Jed.  J.  Show  it,  Tom— Try  and  straighten  out  that  matri- 
monial tanij;la  for  me — because — because — 

Bell.  You're  in  debt. 

Jed.  J.   Wrong  !  I'm  in  love. 

Bell.  (astonisJied)  No  !  \Vell,  old  fellow,  I  wish  you  luok. 
But  is  there  nothing  I  can  do  for  you  ?  Don't  be  offended^ 
{■prills  out  money)  You  know  you  are  welcome  to  anything 
I've  got  ! 

Jed.  J.  Thanks  no  1  I  won't  start  my  new  career  by 
borrowing. 

Bell.  Rubliish  !  For  oM  acquaintance'  sake  have  a  fiver— 

Jed.  J.  {su'hienly)  I  will  — take  something. 

Bell.  Good  business  ! 

Jed.  J,  I'll  take  a  ciyar  I 


CHKISTOPHER  JUNIOK.  35 

Bell.  Riglit  you  are  I  (going  up)  I'll  get  my  cigar  case. 
[exit  B.U.E.) 

Jhjd.J.  I))ra — something  awfully  sweet  and  confiding 
about  that  name.  She  looks  like  a  Dora,  (nudilody)  I 
would  lik.-^  to  stay  for  that  waltz,  (comes  doivti)  It  would  be 
Worth  swallowing  a  Int  of  pride  for.  I'm  hanged  if  I  don't 
go  and  ch.m^'e  my  clothes  again,  (goes  upstairs,  taking  bag 
\i.llh  him) 

Enter  Whimper  r.u.b. 

Whijip.  I'm  sorry.  Master  Christopher,  to  be  sent  with 
such  a  me  isuLje,  but  the  ma.sttr  says — 

Jed.  J.   WhIH 

Whimp.  He  says,  sir,  that  your  departure  having  been 
alr>-ady  announced  there  will  be  no  need  for  you  to  take 
leave  of  tiie  family. 

Jed.  J.  (doion  l,  bitterly)  Very  well,  Whimper,  anything 
more  ? 

Whimper.  Yes  sir.  The  carriage  is  waiting  for  you  at 
the  door 

Jed.  J.  Toll  my  father  I  prefer  to  walk.  (Whimper  looht 
pinned)  All  right,  Whimper,  it's  no  fault  of  yours  ! 

Whimp.  I  l^og  your  pardon,  sir,  but  you'll  allow  me  to  send 
on  your  hm  for  y(  u  ? 

Jkd.  J.  Ail  right,  Whimper.  Good-bye  I  (holds  out  his 
hiind) 

Whimp.   Cinod-bye,  Master  Christopher  ! 

Jed   J.   S.iy  good-liye  to  the  other  servants  for  me. 

Wuisip.    Yes,  sir.   (exits  B.C.  unth  bag). 

Jed.  J.  My  conge  direct.  I  cannot  stay  now.  No,  it 
would  be  too  himiiliatii)g.  (fa]:es  tip  his  coat  and  Jind  Dora's 
haiidkerchiej)  Her  handkerchief.  Mine  now,  for  as  the 
kr.iglits  of  (rid  used  to  carry  their  lady's  favours  to  the  tilt  so 
shall  this  go  with  me,  to  remind  me  of  the  fight  I  mean  to 
win.  ((joes  l.) 

Quadrille  stops, 

Nelly  e7iters  softly  downstairs. 

Nklly.  (cnniing  down,  carries  eu,velope)  Chris  1  Chris  I 
are  you  ;ii' ine  ? 

jKf>.  J.   (r  )  Yes,  what's  the  matter,  Nell? 

Nelly.  Oh,  don't  pretend  it's  nothing,  for  I  know  every- 
thing {cry- luj)  You  re  going  aw;ty — never  to  come  back  any 
mort». 

Jed.  J.  (gently)  Who  knows?  Perhaps  some  day.  Don't 
cry,  Nell  1 

Nelly,  Some  day— sounds  such  a  long  way  off.  (goes  R.  a 
iittle) 


36  CHRISTOPHEE  JUNIOR. 

Jed.  J  Now,  little  sister,  don't  do  that,  (touchinr)  the 
eurelope)   What  is  this  1 

Nelly.  My  but hJay  present.  A  cheque  from  papa.  I've 
transferred  it  to  you.    You  will  take  it.  won't  you  1 

Jed.  J.  (shali-ing  Jus  head)  IMy  dear  Nelly,  I  couldn't  ! 

Nelly.  I  know  it  isn't  much,  but  it  will  help  you  till  you 
get  settled. 

Jed.  J.  It  isn't  the  amount,  dear.    You  don't  understand. 

Nelly.  Yes,  T  do.  It  is  because  you  are  too  proud. 

Jed.  J.  But,  Nelly,  there's  no  necessity.  Why,  bless  your 
heart.  I'm  a  regular  Croesus,  (crosses  L.o.) 

Nelly.  Reafly  ? 

Jed  J.  Really  !  (aside)  Lord  forgive  me  !  Come,  Nell, 
■wish  me  good  luck— (enter  Bellaby,  e.u.e.)— and  show  nie 
a  smiling  face  before  T  go    (ernhraces  her) 

Nelly.  (Jiysterically)  Don't  laugh  at  us,  Mr.  Bellaby.  "We 
are  saying  good  bye.  (/alls  itdo  Chris's  arms) 

Waltz  till  end  of  Act, 

Bell.  Don't  mind  me  1  (puts  cigars  in  Jed.'s  pocket  on 
chair  up  k.  ) 

Jed.  J.  "There  is  the  waltz  music.  Go  along,  Nelly.  Take 
care  of  her,  Tom. 

Bell,  (approaching  her)  Blay  I  1  (crosses  over  to  her) 

Site  leans  on  his  arm  as  he  leads  her  off  u.  ',  she  tariis  aihd 
runs  down  to  Chris,  who  meets  her  half  way  ;  they  kiss 
and  she  and  Bellaby  exit  k. 

Jed.  J.  Good-bye.  (sighiiuj)  And  now  to  tramp  to  the 
station,  (kneels  and  turns  his  trousers  up;  goes  to  window  L. 
and  looks  out)  I  shall  go  across  the  park  this  way.  I  shan't  have 
to  run  the  gauntlet  of  the  jjeople.  (he  is  opening  window 
wheii,  waltz  music  begins)  By  Jove  !  the  waltz  !  The  first 
waltz  !  (listens)    1  should  have  liked  that  waltz,   (o.) 

Enter  Dora  from  door  L, 

Dora.  I  knew  Uncle  would  go  to  sleep  if  he  once  found  a 
comfortable  armchair  !  Oh,  there  you  are  1  Have  you  for- 
gotten our  engagement  1  Perhaps  you  are  afraid  of  missing 
the  train , 

Jed,  J.  (rising)  Oh,  no,  not  at  all  !  (absently  feeling  in 
pockets)   I  can  get  a  special,  you  know. 

DoR.A.  Can  you?  Then  in  fulhlment  of  my  promise  we 
will  take  just  one  turn  here,  (goes  up  a  little)     One  good  turn. 

3Insic  louder. 

Jed.  J.  (puts  his  arm  round  her  waist  and  dances  two  ot 


CHRISTOPHEK  JUNIOR.  37 

three  turns  ;  mnxic  softer)  One  good  turn  deserves  another. 

{music  louder  ;  they  dunce  acjain  ;  they  dop  b]i  the  stairs  f 
music  softer)   I  shall  remeniber  iny  last  night  in  England. 

Dora.  Last  night  in  England  1  Then  you  are  going 
abroad. 

Jed.  J.  Yes,  to  Bombay    (stop  dancinff) 

Dora,  (stopping)  Bombay !  {going  to  him)  I  wish  -I 
wish — you  every  .success. 

Jed.  J.  Thank  you  !  {shakes  hands)  Good-bye ! 

Dora,   (puts  oat  her  haul  again)  Good-bye  ! 

Jed.  J.  (impalsively  kissing  her  extended  hand)  Good-bye  t 
God  bless  you  !  (seizes  coat,  hat  and  pnrtinante'iii  and  rashes 
off  at  window,  r.u.e.) 

Dora,  (goes  to  window  and  looks  after  him)  He's  going 
to  Bombay  !  Strange  !  Uucle  is  going  to  Bombay  also  1  lb 
geems  very  sellish  of  me  to  let  him  go  alone,  (looks  at  hand) 
Poor  Uncle  I  He  would  be  so  lonely — so  very  lonoly — with- 
out me.  (she  stands  silently  watching  the  door  toher* 
Christopher  departed) 

Music  continues  fori*. 


ACT  TIL 
Time  : — Six  Months  Later. 

Scene  : — Bomhay.  Int>>.rior  of  hwivjalow  <yr  private  qnartet-^ 
of  Major  Hedtvay.  The  scene  is  not  rnhmti'ly  dtsc, iiif.d  as 
it  is  capable  of  nmch  oriylnul  treutmrnt.  There  should  be 
rattaii  or  wicker  furniture,  a  2^ifi-^>'0,  (md  a  larye  screen. 
Writing  desk  near  r.c. 

DoKA.  discovered  at  writing  table  1m 

Dora,  (fiidshing  her  letter)  There,  Mis3  Nelly,  (leaning 
hack  and  fanning  herself)  It  is  warm,  there's  no  denying  it. 
(taking  up  letter)  It  strikes  me  thei'e  is  a  good  deal  of  Mr. 
Blank  in  this  letter  ;  I'll  read  it — (reads)— '''•  My  dearNelJy, 
You  may  possibly  remember  Mr.  Blank,  the  young  secretary 
sent  out  by  your  father  just  before  we  came.  He  has  be- 
come great  friends  with  uncle."  (looks  up)  VV^ith  uncle! 
(reads)  "  To  whom  he  has  confided  an  imjjortant  discovery. 
There  has  been  what  he  terms  a  leakage  in  the  treasury,  and 
ik  seems  that  your  father's  confidence  in  Mr.  Simpson  is 
entirely  misplaced.  For  some  strange  reason  Mr.  Blank 
declines  to  communicate  with  your  father,  and  uncle  has  such 
implicit  faith  in  Mr.  Blank's  ability  that  he  will  not  inter- 
fere. However,  dear,  I  have  not  been  bound  to  secrecy,  and 
you  may  use  my  information  as  you  see  fit.  So  you  are 
tnyaged.  You  forgot  to  mention  the  name  of  the  haptvy  man. 
J  congratulaie  you.  /  sliall  never  marry  now — "  {sighs  and 
oousup)  1  think  I  am  safe  in  saying  that,  (reads)  "  I  told 
Mr.  Blank  so."  That  sounds  suspicious.  I'll  scratch  that 
out.  (scratches,  reads)  "  How  is  it  you  never  mentioned  Mr. 
Blank  to  me  ?  He  seems  to  be  acquainted  with  your  entire 
history."  (looks uj))  I'll  underline  that,  (does  so,  reads) 
"  Yes,  my  coming  to  Bombay  was  rather  a  sudden  resolu- 
tion, but  poor  uncle  seemed  so  desolate — "  H'm — H'm. 
(reads  inaudibly)  "Your  sincere  friend,  Dora."  (folds  letter 
and  puts  in  envelope) 

Enter  Mb.  Simpson  quietly  from  back  h-     He  has  a  vzry 

sleek  and  deacon-like  make-up.  He  approaches  Dora  nn- 

P''.rceiued,  after  puttinij  his  hat  and  can''  on  dmir  )iear 

door.      When  down  stage  she  sees  him  and  starts. 

Simp.  (c.  )  I  beg  your  pardon.  Miss  Hedway,  for  coming  in 

anaiinounced. 

Dora,  (ridng)  Do  not  mention  it.  You  have  business 
with  Mr.  Blank,  I  believe,  (going  \x^  L.)  I  will  send  word 
that  you  are  here. 


CriRISTOPnER   JUKIOR.  39 

Smp.  (getting  in  her  path)  Tho  business  with  Mr.  Blank 
can  wait.  It  is  not  often  I  am  fortunate  enough  to  find 
you  alone,  that  you  need  grudge  me  a  few  minutes  of  your 
society. 

Dora,  (r.o.,  nervously)  Butyourtime? 

Simp,  (l.c.)  Is  my  oion  to-day.     Our  firm  has  a  holiday. 

Dora.  Really  !  Mr.  Blank  never  mentioned  it.  (crosses 
to  table  L.) 

Simp.  I  am  surprised.  He  is  usually  sufficiently  com- 
municative with  regai'd  to  his  employers'  affairs. 

Dora.  Mr.  Simpson,  I  must  remind  you  that  Mr.  Blank 
is  my  uncle's  guest. 

Simp.  I  wish  he  were  more  worthy  of  the  honour.  (Dora 
turns)  Forgive  me,  Miss  Dora,  I  would  not  offend  you  for 
the  world. 

Dora.  Then  in  that  case  you  will  please  remember  that  I 
am   "  Miss  Hedway,"  except  to  my  friends. 

Simp.  And  why  may  I  not  be  numbered  among  your 
friends  ? 

Dora.  Because  I  reserve  to  niys- If  the  privilege  of  choos- 
ing them,  (admly  stamps  her  letter) 

Simp.  You  are  wise  to  limit  your  acquaintanceship. 
New  C(mfidences  sometimes  necessitate  embarrassing  revela- 
tions. 

Dora.   What  do  you  mean  ?  (turns  to  him) 

Simp.  Nothing,  (aside)  A  random  shot,  but  it  went  home 

Dora.  I  beg  you  to  excuse  me,  Mr.  Simpson.  My 
uncle (going) 

Simp,  (stopping  her)  Is  playing  chess.  Don't  disturb  him. 
Pie  might  be  angry. 

Dora.   His  anger  is  preferable  to  your 

Simp.  T(j  my  civility.  You  don't  mean  that.  In  any  case  I 
am  going  to  ask  you  to  bear  with  it  for  two  minutes.  (Dora 
pan>:es)  I  don't  insist,  (points  to  chair  r.  of  table  ;  Dora  sits) 
Miss  Hedway,  you  have  refused  me  your  friendship.  I 
accept  the  decree  with  equanimity,  for  it  suggests  the 
possibility  of  a  warmer  feeling— (Dora  looks  up)— hy  and 
bye.  (Dora  rises  ;  points  to  seat)  You  have  given  me  two 
minutes,  I  think.  (Dora  sits)  Let  me  try  to  explain,  and  if 
I  do  not  couch  my  sentiments  in  the  phrases  of  a  conven- 
tional suitor,  make  some  allowance  for  my  matter  of  fact 
training.  I  am  a  man  of  business,  and  my  business  instincts 
never  deceive  me.  You  have  lately  allowed  your  uncle  t> 
speculate  with  your  money,  with  the  result  that  you  are  no 
longer  independent.  The  Major's  pension  will  nevei'  be 
enough  tosapport  him  in  the  style  in  which  he  lives,  and  his 
capital  is  invested  in  a  business  of  which  he  knows  notliing. 


40  CHRISTOPHEK  JUlflOE. 

He  is  at  the  mercy  of  commercial  men  who  might  bankrupt 
him  to-morrow.  A  perilous  outlook  for  you.  Here  is  a  safer 
one.  A  home  in  any  part  of  the  world  you  may  choose.  A 
priv'ate  incorat^,  and  the  passionate  devotion  of  a  man  who 
— who — never  thought  of  marriage  till  he  saw  yon.  (she 
looks  at  him)  When  I  intimate  that  your  uncle's  security 
rests  with  me,  it  is  no  idle  bo;ist.  My  position  with  our  firm 
is  such  that  I  can  build  it,  or  wreck  it,  at  my  pleasure.  I 
warned  you  that  T  was  practical. 

Dora.  The  warning  was  superfluous.  I  can  only  regrel 
that  you  should  Lave  thouglic  it  necessary  to  reveal  the 
state  of  your  private  affairs,  for  they  can  never  be  any  con- 
cern of  mine. 

Simp.  Then  your  answer  is — 

Dora.  No.     Now,  and  for  all  time. 

Enter  Jed.  J.  at  back  l.  ;  he  walks  down  unahserved. 

Simp.  Perhaps  yuu  will  reconsider. 

Dora.  I  shall  never  reconsider.  It  is  no,  emphatically 
no. 

Simp,  (approaching  her)  I  may  drive  you  to — 

Jed.  J.  {coming  bdiveen  them, — c,  angrily)  No.  (changing 
tone)  Hang  it  all,  the  lady  said  "  no."  Can't  you  take  "  no  " 
for  an  answer. 

Simp,  (r.,  angrily)  I  was  not  aware  that  you  were  invited 
to  this  discussion. 

Jed.  J.  (looking  at  Dora)  I  beg  Miss  Hedway's  pardon, 
but  I  happened  in  by  chance,  and  overheard  you  threaten- 
ing to  drive  the  lady.  N^iW,  it's  too  abominably  hot  for  a 
drive,  so  I  coincided  with  her,  and  said  "  no,"  decidedly 
"no." 

Simp.  There  is  a  homely  proverb  about  two  being  company 
and  three  none. 

Jed.  J.  To  be  sure,  (offers  Simpson  his  hat  and  cane) 
Permit  me. 

Simpson  turns  aioay  and  Jed.  J.  puts  hat  and  cane  down 
at  back  O.K. — Simpson  goes  a  little  r. 

Dora.  You  gentlemen  have  business  together,  I  will  leave 
you. 

Simp.  'Tis  not  yet  time  for  our  appointment.  I  have  sent 
to  the  office  for  some  papers. 

Dora.  Pending  their  arrival  my  uncle  will  entertain  you, 
lie  is  on  the  verandah,   (pause) 

Jed.  J.  On  the  verandah  1  (Sibipson  hows,  takes  hat  and 
ca'ice,  and  exit  L.c.)  I  think  I  did  that  very  nicely,  (walks  up, 
watches  Simpson  off,  rettirns  to  Dora,  who  crosses  l.)  Misa 
Hedway,  has  that  man  been  annoying  you  t  {coming  dovmo.) 


CHRISTOPHER  JUNIOR.  41 

Dora.  Yes.  No— that  is 

Jed.  J.  Won't  you  tell  me  the  truth  ? 

r»ORA.  (l.  of  tabic)  The  truth  is,  I  have  taken  a  groat  dis 
'ike  to  Mr.  Simpson,  and  I  am  foolish  enough  to  show  it. 
That  is  all.  Let  us  change  the  subject.  Aren't  you  awfully 
warm  ? 

Jed.  J.  (c,  fanning  himself  with  hat)  No,  thanks.  lam 
very  comfortable. 

Dora.   With  such  a  heavy  coat  ? 

Jed.  J.  It  is  the  only  one  I  could  find.  Job  is  an  awful 
fellow  to  conceal  one's  wearing  apparel. 

Dora,  Where  is  Job  ? 

Jed.  J.  Gone  for  the  mail,  confound  him  I 

Dora.  Well,  take  that  coat  off. 

Jed  J.  May  I  ?  (removes  it) 

Dora.  Dear,  dear,  you  poor  helpless  mortal.  Look  at 
the  torn  lining.  I  will  stitch  it  for  you  if  you  will  bring  me 
that  basket. 

Jed.  J.  This  one  ?  {referring  to  paper  basket ;  fetches 
basket  from  table  up  r.o.) 

Dora,  {s^ireads  the  coat  out  on  her  knee)  Find  me  a  needle. 
(Jed.  J.  hesitates  at  head  of  table)  Please— 

Jed.  J.  That's  better— 

Dora.  I  am  very  cross  to-day.  I  can't  help  it.  It's  the  heat. 

Jed.  J.  (giving  needle)  I  don't  mind  it. 

Dora.  What— the  heat,  or  my  temper  1 

.Jed.  J.  Either,  (breaks  off  very  long  thread) 

Dora  takes  thread,  breaks  a  very  small  piece  off,  and 
throxos  the  remainder  away  ;  Jed.  J.  picks  it  up  and 
winds  it  round  his  finger  in  an  absent  manner 

Dora,  (stitching)  Is  there  anything  under  the  sun  you  do 
mind  ? 

Jed.  J.  (idling  with  contents  of  work-basket)  Only  you,  I 
mind  you,  because  —because  I  can't  help  myself. 

Dora.  I  can't  rid  myself  of  the  impression  that  you've 
grovm  somehow  since  you  have  been  out  here. 

Jed.  J.  I  have  grown — grown  bald. 

Dora.  Nonsense. 

Jed.  J.  (behind  the  table)  It  is  true.  Look  how  thin  my 
hair  is  on  the  top.     It  is  worry. 

Dora.  What  have  you  been  worrying  about  ?  (laughing) 

Jed.  J.  About  you.  I  thought  you  were  going  into  a  con- 
vent. 

Dora,  (stitching  quickly)  You  don't  approve  of  a  woman 
taking  the  veil  ? 

Jed.  J.  Oh,  yes,  1  do,  but  I  think  it  ought  to  be  a  whitt 
veil,  with  orange  blossoms. 


42  CHRISTOPHEU   JUNIOR. 

Dora,  (giving  him  coat  and  rising  hnrrieclly,  and  crosses  n.) 
It's  very  warm.  {s)ie  crosHes  to  R.c.  and  sits) 

Jed.  J.  Vou  said  that  before.  It's  an  ast<inishing  thing, 
but  the  weather  becomes  a  topic  of  alisorbing  interest  when 
we  are  alone,    (pant^e  ;  they  look  at  eaeli  other) 

Dora,  (standing  iiear  screen)  VV.  11  ?  (fanning  herself) 

Jed.  J.  (Jan  business)  Well  ? 

Dora,  (impatiently)  Haven't  you  anything  to  say  1 

Jed.  J.  Yes.     We  are  going  to  have  rain. 

Dora.   Thank  goodness.      When  ? 

Jed.  J.  I  don't  know  when,  but  we'll  have  it  some  of  these 
days. 

Dora.  How  ridiculous.     Oh,  dear,  it's  very  — 

Jed.  J.  (hurriedly)  Yes,  I  know.  It's  a  generally  accepted 
fact  that  it's  very  warm. 

Dora,  {laughing)  How's  business  ?  (leaiis  against  arm  of 
chair  R.c.) 

Jed.  J.   Whose  business  ? 

Dora.   Your  business. 

Jed.  J.  Oh,  pretty  well,  thank  you.  Coffee's  weak,  nut- 
megs are  rolling.  pepj>ers  are  strong,  and  cinnamon  steady. 

Dora.   Wliat  about  Mr.  Simpson? 

Jed.  J.  He's  not  so  steady  as  the  cinnamon.  He's  begin- 
ning to  tojiple. 

Dora.  What  did  he  say  when  you  told  him  of  your  dis- 
covery ? 

Jed.  J.  Became  indignant  and  threatened  to  kick  me  out, 
but  he  has  changed  his  mind,  and  has  condescended  to  an 
explanation. 

Dora.  H'm.   And  who  is  going  to  dictate  terras  ? 

Jed.  J.   (emphatically)  I  am. 

DoKA.  That  is  right,  (rises)  I  once  told  you  that  I  thought 
*■  Arthurs "  were  heedless  and  stupid.  I  withdraw  the 
accusation. 

Jed.  J.  Arthur?  Oh,  yes.     Arthur,  to  be  sure 

Dora.   Don't  say  you  have  forgotten  your  own  name. 

Jed.  J.  No,  I  haven't  forgotten  it,  but  you  see,  I  was 
never  called  Arthur  much  as  a  boy. 

Dora.  You  have  a  very  odd  last  name —"  Blank."  I 
never  knew  any  one  before  of  that  name,  (crosses  to  table  L. 
a7id  puiks  up  letter) 

Jed.  J.  Neither  di^l  I. 

Dora,  (crosses  to  table  l.  ;  offering  letter)  Will  you  hava 
this  posted  for  me  ? 

Jed.  J.  With  pleasure,  (fakes  it ;  aside)  Where  the  deuce 
have  I  seon  that  writing  ?  For  the  English  mail,  of  course. 
(looking  at  the  writing) 


CHKISTOPHEK   JUNIOK.  43 

Dora.  Yes.  it  is  for  Miss  Jedlmry.   (crosses  to  r.c.) 

Jed.  J.   How  is  Nelly  ?     Bless  her  dear  little  heart. 

Dora,  (with  dignify)  Nelly?  Bless  her  dear  Utile  heart ! 
Really  you  are  very  familiar,  Mr.  Blank. 

Jed.  J.  I  didn't  mean  to  be. 

Dora.  (rnoving-R..  ;  amie)  I  see  it  all.  He  is  in  love  with 
Nelly,  and  the  father  wouldn't  hear  of  it.  {ails  K.)  N^wl 
know  what  the  stormy  interview  was  about  (almid)  You 
know  Miss  Jedbury  well  1 

Jed.  J.  Intimately. 

Dora.   You  admire  her  ? 

Jed.  J.   Immensely. 

Dora    You  told  her  so  ? 

Jed.  J,  Frequently. 

Dora.  That  was  very  imprudent.   What  did  Nelly  say? 

Jed.  J.  Say  ?  Oh,  she  said  she  d  always  be  a  sister  to  me. 

Dora.  She  did  ?  Then  you  haven't  the  ghost  of  a  chance. 

Jed  J.   1  know  it. 

Dora,  (r.c.)  And  you  are  resigned? 

Jed.  J.  (o.)  Quite. 

Dora,  (rismij)  Mr,  Blank — Arthur— 

Jed.  J.  Yes.     That's  right.     Call  me  Arthur. 

Dora.  I  sympathise  with  you.  You  have  acted  bravely, 
't  must  have  been  an  airful  wrench. 

Jed.  J.  (pretending  to  shndder)  It  was,  it  was.  Yet,  I'd 
go  through  it  all  over  again  to  have  you  .sympathise  with  me. 

Dora.   But  to  return  to  Nelly. 

Jed.  J.  No,  don't  return  to  Nelly,  I'd  rather  stay  here 
with  you. 

DoKA.  (shakes  her  finger)  When  will  you  learn  that  I  am 
just  an  elderly  sort  of  person?     To  be  treated  seriously. 

Jed.  J.  Never 

Dora.  Then  I  shall  not  permit  you  to  talk  to  me  at  all. 

Jed  J.  Don't — Don't  be  cruel.  I'll  call  you  Gran^dma  if 
you  say  so. 

Dora  You  are  incorrigible,  (business ;  langlis)  But  what 
was  I  going  to  say?  Ah  I  it  was  about  Nelly's  brother 
Christopher.     You  know  him,  I  Vjelieve. 

Jed.  J.  Yes— no — that  is,  slightly. 

Dora.   Well,  you  have  met  him.   llow  did  he  impress  you  1 

Jed.  J.  Impress  me?  H'm — I  thoi^ght  him  a  good-looking 
sort  of  a  chap  clever — upright— in  fact,  on  the  wh^le,  a 
noble  specmieia  of  perfect  manhood,  (striking  attitude — 
aside)  I  consider  that  a  mo.st  accurate  descrijjtit'ii.  (goes  L.) 

Dora.  Then  I  don't  agree  with  you.  Between  you  and 
me  (confidentially)  that  young  man  is  a  vtry  bad  lot. 


44  CHEISTOPHER  JUNIOR. 

Jep.  J.  No  !  Then  I'll  never  speak  to  him 

Dora.  I  know  it  for  a  fact.  He  drinks. 

Jed.  J.  No. 

Dora.  And  he  bets  on  races. 

Jed.  J.  No. 

Dora.  Yes.  I  noticed  it  when  I  visited  those  rooms  In 
London. 

Major,  (outside)  Dora  !  Dora  !  where's  Dora  ? 

Dora,  {rises)  My  uncle,  and  I  have  not  given  orders  for 
his  tiffin,     (exit  L.) 

Jed.  J.  (r.c.)  A  drunkard  and  a  gambler.  If  the  Major's 
voice  hadn't  cut  short  my  profligate  career,  no  knowing  how 
I  should  have  ended.  I  shall  never  dare  to  tell  her  who  I 
am  now.  No,  I  am  doomed  to  be  A.  Blank  to  the  end  of 
the  chapter. 

Enter  Job  from  bach  l. 

Jed.  J.  (Job  coming  doron  with  letters  and  papers)  Ah, 
Job,  you  scoundrel.     Any  letters  ?  (extending  his  hand) 

Job.  (l.c.)  None  for  you,  sir. 

Jed.  J.  (disappointedly)  I  am  a  fool  to  expect  any. 

Job.  It  ain't  my  fault,  Mr.  Jedbury — 

Jed.  J.  (turns  quickly)  You  call  me  Mr.  Jedbury  again 
and  you'll  wish  you  died  as  an  infant. 

Job.  I  beg  pardon,  sir.  It's  the  first  slip  for  months.  It 
must  have  been  old  recollections  brought  about  by  this  here. 
{produces  handbill)  There  sir,  cast  your  eyes  over  that. 

Jed.  J.  An  announcement. 

Job.  Read  it,  sir. 

Jed.  j.  (spreading  out  hill;  reads)  "  Mr.  and  Mrs.Glibb, 
the  renowned  philanthropists,"  Mrs.Glibb!  Can  it  possibly 
be  my  Mrs.  Glibb.  (voices  hear  d  off) 

Mrs.  G.  (outside)  My  dear  Mujor,  Mr.  Glibb's  brain  is 
positively  colossal. 

Jed.  j.  It  is  my  Mrs.  Glibb,  Job.  If  the  Major  enquires 
for  me,  I'm  gone  away  for  a  month,  {goes  towards  L.  as  Mr. 
Gltbb  enters  l.  slowly  and  stands  at  the  door  with  his  hands 
behind  him.  Glibb  looks  at  Jed.  J.  ;  wheels  svAdenly  round) 
Cornered  ! 

Job.  (in  a  loud  whisper)  Try  the  verandah,  sir. 

Jed.   j.  goes  to  verandah  as   Mrs.  Glibb  and  Majob 
appear. 

Jed.  j.  No  good.  Retreat  cut  off. 

Job.  My  advice  ia,  rush  it,  sir.  Fll  make  a  clearing. 
Follow  me. 


CHKISTOPHEll   JUNIOK.  45 

Job  poses  in  pedestrian  fashion,  and  then  makes  a  riish 
for  the  door  at  ii-ihirh  Mr.  Gtinn  is  looldnrj  in.  He  striken 
with  force  against  Iiim,  iihick  causes  Glibb  to  tehee', 
round.  Jed.  J.  bolts  out  after  Job,  and  Glirb,  who  is 
thoroughly  hevnldered,  stands  sfariitg  after  litem,  as 
Major  aud  Mrs.  Glibb  eider  from  verandah.  Gubb 
then  drops  down  behind  chair  L. 

Mrs  G.  And  the  first  lecture,  Major.  How  many  tickets 
may  I  put  you  down  for  ?  {^vrit('s  in  note  book) 

Major,  {aside)  Oh  for  twenty  minutes'  sleep,  {aloud). 
We'll  say  three,  [aside,  yawning)  Just  twenty  minutes,  {sits 
K.  of  table) 

Mrs.  G.  Three  and  twenty.  Thank  you,  Major.  You 
military  gentlemen  are  always  to  be  relied  upon  for  generosity 
in  a  noble  cause,  {to  Gltsb,  who  has  taken  tip  his  position 
behind  Major)    George. 

Major,  {aside)  I  felt  there  was  something  there,  {inoves 
to  the  other  chair  e-xtreme  L.) 

Mrs.  G.  Tell  the  Major  about  my  treacherous  memory. 
(Mr  Glibb  jirepares  to  speak)  Mr.  Glibb  is  quite  right.  I 
had  positively  forgotten  our  acquaintance,  till  he  reminded 
me  that  Major  Hedway  would  doubtless  prove  our  great 
support,  {enter  Dora  c.)  Ah,  your  charming  niece.  George, 
you  remember  Miss  Hedway  ?  (Glibb  bows,  and  gradually 
moves  until  he  gets  behind  the  Major  again) 

Dora,  (r.c)  This  is  a  very  pleasant  surprise. 

Mrs.  G.  (l.)  You  are  too  good. 

Dora.  Not  at  all.  We  are  so  awfully  dull  here,  that  any 
change  is  welcome.     That  is — I  mean — 

Major.   Eyes  front,  Dora,  my  darling. 

Dora.  It's  getting  delightfully  cool  on  the  verandah,  and 
I  think  we  can  offer  you  a  sherbet,  (goes  to  back  and  calls) 
Job,  Job,  please  have  these  chairs  taken  out  for  us. 

Enter  Job. 

Mrs.  G.  {seeing  him)  Good  gracious.  This  is  surely  h 
familiar  face.  (Job  starts  and  tries  to  get  aivay)  It  is — why — 
Job,  what  are  you  doing  out  here  ? 

Dora.  Job  is  waiting  on  a  guest  of  ours. 

Mrs.  G.  What?  You  have  forsaken  Mr.  Christopher? 
fJoB  shakes  his  head  and  ihni  nods  violently) 

Dora.  Mr.  Christopher  ? 

Mrs.  G.  Young  Mr.  Jedbury,  Job's  former  employer,  {to 
Job)  What  has  become  of  that  naughty  boy  ?  (.Job  looks 
bewildered,  and  presently  casts  his  eyes  up  and  produces  his 
handkerchief) 


46  CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR. 

Mrs.  G.  Dead — is  it  possible  1  (Mr.  Glibb  turns  arid  loolis 
at  door) 

Dora.  Nelly's  brother  dead  ? 

Mrs.  G.  What  did  he  die  of  1  (Job  hadtcdes,  then  sloioly 
raises  Ids  hand  to  his  mcaUi,  to  signify  that  Jed.  J.  died  of 
drink) 

Dora.  That  teapot ! 

Mrs.  G.  Oh,  how  shocking  1 

Dora.  Poor  Nelly. 

Mrs.  G.  Oh,  George,  let  it  be  a  warning  to  you.  (Major 
f^ers  Glibb  behind  him  and  changes  hack  it  do  other  chair; 
Glibb  rnoves  with  him  atid  stations  hinisdf  bthind  him  again  ; 
Job  takes  chair  up) 

Jed  J.  enters  at  back  uihperceived,  except  by  Job,  ivho 
rushes  to  him. 

Job.  Go  away,  sir,  you're  dead. 

Jed.  J.  Eh,  dead— am  I  ?  Then  I'll  go  and  bury  myaelt. 
exit  L.  back,  folloived  by  Job  with  chair) 

Mrs.  G.  Christopher  dead — I  cannot  realise  it. 

IMajor,  (after  gl'i.ncing  behind  htm  and  rising,  offering  his 
arm  to  Mrs.  Glibb)  A  false  sentiment  to  laui'  nt  death. 
We  all  die,  every  man  Jack  of  us,  and  Major  Uedway  will 
endeavour  to  go  with  his  boots  on.  (aside  to  Dora)  Bring 
along  the  gay  Lothario,  Dora,  (strolls  off  o.  uith  Mrs. 
Glibb  l.) 

Dora.  Mr.  Glibb.  Come  along.  It's  all  right — I  shan't 
hurt  you.  (Glibc  hesitates,  thenfolluivs  her  off) 

Job  re-enters  back. 

Jed.  J.  (looking  in  at  door  L.)  Il'st — Job  ! 

Job.  It's  all  right,  sir,  they're  gone. 

Jed.  J.  Then  see  they  don't  come  back  till  I've  found  ray 
tobacco.  I  refuse  to  go  to  the  tomb  without  my  pipo 
{looking  for  pipe)  What  did  I  die  of.  Job  ? 

Job.  Drink. 

Jed.  J,  (l.o  )  Eh  1 

Job.  I  couldn't  help  it,  sir.  You'd  got  to  be  killed,  some- 
how. 

Jed.  J.,  Job,  you  are  a  conscientious,  good-for-nothing 
ficoundrel.     Get  out. 

Job  exit  c.Ij.  with  second  chair. 

Jed.  J.  Where  the  deuce  is  that  pipe  ?  Ah,  here  it  is  1 
must  have  removed  it  from  my  pocket  when  Dora  mended 
my  coat,  (tenderly)  Dora — I  ah-.iys  call  her  Dora  when  there 
is  no  one  to  hear  mo.  (pame)  I    wonder  how    Bellaby's   in* 


CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR.  47 

restigations  are  proceeding.  Ho  says  if  1  will  only  wait 
seven  years  I  shall  be  free  anyhow.  Four  years  more.  How 
would  he  like  it  himself?  (finds  cro.fs  attached  to  cJiain  on 
desk  R.c.)  Her  locket — must  have  fallen  from  her  neek.  I 
wonder  if  I  might  keep  it.  {pockets  it)  I  have  become  a 
perfe;..t  kleptomanic  where  anything  belonging  to  Dora  is 
concerned. 

Enter  Dora  o. 

Dora.  I  must  have  dropped  it  somewhere.  Oh,  have  yoa 
found  a  gold  locket  with  a  monogram  1 

Jed.  J.  No,  but  I'll  look  for  it  {snddetdy  kneels  and  looks  on 
floor)  Ah,  here  it  is.  (takes  it  from  pocket  and  pretends  to 
have  found  it;  offers  cross  but  retains  hold  of  chain) 

Dora.  (l.c.)  Oh,  thank  you.  It's  intrinsic  value  is  nothing, 
but  it  was  my  poor  father's  last  pi-esent.  He  bought  it  in 
Trinidad. 

Jed.  J.  {stiddetdy  dropping  chain)  Trinidad?  (kneeling  L.c.) 

Dora.  Yes.  Have  you  ever  been  there  ? 

Jed.  J.  Oh,  yes.  I've  been  there.  Once. 

Dora.  Once.  Then  I  suppose  you  don't  remember  much 
about  it. 

Jed.  J.  On  the  contrary.  My  remembrance  of  Trinidad 
is  most  distinct. 

Dora.  So  is  mine,  (sighs)  It  holds  the  most  painful  recol- 
lecti(jns  for  me.    Won't  j'ou  get  up  ? 

Jed.  J.  (catching  hold  of  cross,  she  has  the  chain)  No, 
thanks,  I  am  very  comfortable,  and  it  makes  you  look  so 
tall.   Away  up  in  the  skies,  where  you  belong. 

Dora,  (smiling)  You  seem  to  have  taken  quite  a  fancy  to 
my  lf)cket. 

Jed.  J.  Yes.  I — I'm  trying  to  read  Dora  (Dora  looks)  in 
this  monogram. 

Dora.  Oh,  that  isn't  meant  for  Dora  at  all.  Dora  is  really 
my  secnnd  name.  The  first  is  so  hideous  that  I  discarded  it 
when  I  assumed  the  other. 

Jed.  J.  Assumed?    What  other? 

Dora.  Hedway.  (conjideniially)  I  have  never  told  anyone 
my  secret.     The  fact  is,  that  I  have  a — there  is  something. 

Jed.  J.  (anxiously)  Yes.  You  have  a ? 

Dora.  In  the  past. 

Jed.  J.  (relieved)  The  past.  Oh,  bother  the  past.  Think  of 
the  future.  Your  future — my  future  Dora,  forgive  me, 
dear.  I  can't  keep  it  any  longer.  I've  something  to  tell  you. 
•Something  that 

Dora,  (shrinking  away)  No,  you'd  better  not.  Not  now. 
I  don't  know.  I  must  take  time  to  consider. 


48  CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR. 

Jed.  J.  Certainly,  take  seven  years. 
Dora.  Eh? 

Jed.  J.  I  mean  four.  You  see,  it's  better  not  to  hurry 
these  things,  and — 

Enter  Simpson  l.o. 

Dora,  (turning).  Mr.  Simpson.  (Dora,  drops  Sed.  J.'s 
hand  and  exit  L.  ;  l&ives  .Jed.  J.  on  his  knees  somewhat 
embarrassed  b]i  Simpson's  entrance) 

Jed.  J.  (aside)  A  bad  beginning  for  me,  but  we  must  see 
if  the  positions  cannot  be  reversed  before  the  interview  is 
closed,  (rises,  calmly  points  to  chair  b\j  talde)  Sit  down,  Mr. 
Simpson,  I  have  given  orders  that  we  are  not  to  be  dis- 
turbed. 

Simp,  (crossing  to  L.,  referring  to  the  posit  ion  in  tohich  he 
found  Jed.  J.)  Didn't  you  take  that  precaution  a  little  late  ? 

Jed.  J.  (carelessly)  Better  late  than  never,  (draws  chair 
C.  and  sits) 

Simp,  (smiling)  Charming  young  lady,  Miss  Hedway. 
sits  L.)  Though  a  little  free  in  her  manners,  I  should 
imagine. 

Jed.  J.  I  wouldn't  let  my  imagination  run  too  far,  if  I 
were  you. 

Simp.  I  never  do.  I  may  be  keen  at  grasping  a  situation. 
(significantly)  but  I  don't  deduce  anything  from  it,  unless  I 
am  driven  to  do  so  by  circumstances. 

Jed.  J.  A  safe  plan. 

Simp,  (taking  cigar  from  case)  Does  your  fair  hostess  per- 
mit? 

Jed.  J.  Yes. 

Simp,  (offering  case)  Will  you  join  me  ? 

Jed.  J.  No,  1  prefer  my  pipe,  (liglits  pipe) 

Simp,  (sitting  r.  of  table)  A  less  expensive  habit.  I 
always  smoked  a  pipe  when  I  was  a  clerk,  although  I  now 
confess  I  don't  like  the  flavour. 

Jed  J.  That's  a  pity. 

Simp.  Why? 

Jed  J.  You  might  have  to  go  back  to  the  pipe. 

Simp.  Possibilities  are  limitless.  You  might  suddenly 
develop  a  taste  for  expensive  cigars. 

Jed.  J.  Very  likely.  But  I  shall  also  endeavour  to 
develop  the  means  of  paying  for  them  honestly. 

Simp.  Of  course,  of  course.  Honesty  is  always  the  best 
policy,  and  in  spite  of  our  little  misuudertanding,  I  have 
never  doubted  yours. 

Jed.  J.  (coldly)  Thanks. 


CHKISTOPUEll  JUKIOR.  49 

Simp,  How,  wiih  your  permission,  we  will  revert  to  the 

subject  of  your  late 

Jed.  J.  Detection. 

Simp.  H'tn — You  use  very  extravagant  expressions,  but 
we  won't  argue  about  that. 
Jed.  J.  Noj  don't  let  us  argue 

Simp,  {rising  aiul  toalking  imeasily)  You  were  sent  out  to 
me  some  six  months  ago   with  no  special  recommendation 
beyond  a  gnod  education.     It  was  not  mercantile,  however, 
and  gave  you  no  advantage  over  the  other  clerks.    I  thought 
I  saw  in  you  an  intelligent  man,  and   I  at   once  started    to 
bring  out   whatever  germs   of  business   talent  you  might 
possess. 
Jkd.  J.  (quietly)  That  was  your  first  mistake. 
Simp,  (with  slight  anger)  Observing  a  taste  for  mathematics 
I  placed  you  in  the  book-keeping  department. 
Jed.  J.  That  was  your  second  mistake. 
Simp,  (tvitti  increased  avger)    And   finally,    believing  that 
you  were  to  be  trusted,  I  gave  you  access  to  my  own  private 
books. 

Jed.  J.  That  was  your  third  and  most  serious  mistake. 
Simp,  (controlling  himself)  Go  on.  I  am  curious  to  see  how 
far  ingratitude  can  go.  (sits  at  L.) 

Jed.  J.  Are  you?  Then  listen  to  me.  (p'^iffing  his  pipe) 
Fifteen  years  ago,  I  am  told,  Mr.  Jedbury  took  into  his  ser- 
vice  a   young   man,    who    not    having    the   drawback   of   a 
classical  education,  plodded  on,  with  the  help  of  his  trusting 
employer,  until  he   obtained  sufficient  knowledge  to  fill  the 
important  position  of  manager  in  the  Bombay  house. 
Simp,  (impatiently)  Narratives  do  not  interest  me. 
Jed.  J.  Really.    I   thought  you   were   curious  as   to  in- 
gratitude. 
Simp,  (assuming  ease)  Your  assurance  is  simply  amusing. 
Jed.  J.  Amusing.  Wait  a  bit.  I  haven't  begun  to  be  funny 
yet.   (tahes  a  paper  from  pocket)  You  appear  anxious  for  the 
denouement,  so   I'll  skip  details.    A  few  weeks  ago,   I  sug- 
gested we  should  review  the    last  few  years'  balance  sheets, 
so  as  to   compare  with   accuracy   the  annual   profits.     You 
agreed.     Findirg  a  slight  discrepancy  in  last  year's  accounts 
I  looked  up  the  duplicate  books  which  I  knew  to  be  in  your 
possession. 

Simp,  (rising)  You   had  no  right  to   touch  them   in   my 
absence. 

Jed.  J,  You  shouldn't  have  taken  a  holiday. 
Simp,  (sits  impatiently)  Well,  sir,  yo\i  found  the  books. 
Jed.  J.  Yes,    but   they  were  not  duplicates,  except  in  the 
matter  of  binding.     The  totals  were  distinctly  at  variance. 


50  CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR. 

Simp.  You  lie. 

JfcD.  J.  '>h  !  D  )n't  raise  your  voice.  The  Majoi's  gona 
to  sleep.  Pardon  me,  did  I  understand  you  to  say  that  I 
lied '(  Qtiibe  a  nii.itike.  1  a-isure  you  I  speak  hy  the  card. 
{prvduciiui  p  'per)  Let  me  begin  wi  li  the  credit  total  for  L.  b 
year.  The  firm's  ledger  says  sixt=-en  thousand  four  hundred 
and  twenty-two  piunds.  Your  |)rivate  ledger  for  the  same 
{gloidy  readin<j)  eighteen  thousand  and — 

81MP.  It  is  false. 

Jed  J.  Yes,  1  know  it  is.  That  is  what  I  am  getting  at, 
I  repeat  that  your  private  ledger  gives  last  year's  profit  at 
eighteen  thousand  — 

81MP.   Nothiny;  of  the  sort.     That  is  the  ninety-two  return. 

Jed.  J.  Ah,  thank  you.  I  wanted  to  find  out  how  long 
you  had  been  working  this  little  game. 

Simp.  It  is  an  evidence  of  your  business  inexperience  tha-/ 
you  haven't  allowed  for  my  commissions. 

Jed.  J.  C'.muiissions  1  But  how  about  that  extra  annual 
two  hundred,  noted  as  the  equivalent  for  commissions  ? 

Simp,  (ungrily  ;  rises)  I  am  not  here  for  cross  examination. 
With  an  audacity  that  only  ignorance  can  excuse,  you  imj)ly 
my  dishonesty. 

Jed.  J.  Oh  no.  I  don't  imply,  I  assert.  Mr.  Simpson,  I 
charge  you  with  being  a  thief.  Now  (standing  erect)  answer 
it  like  a  man.  (Simpson  starts,  as  if  he  would  attack  him, 
then  turns  away  smiling) 

Simp.  And  you  think  you  will  be  able  to  prove  your  state- 
ment ? 

Jed.  J.  Well,  I'm  green  in  the  business,  as  you  say,  but  I 
have  a  document  here  which  would  ripen  the  intelligence  of 
a  June  pippin,  {produces  letter) 

SiJiP.  A  letter  to  me  from  the  firm  1 

Jed.  J.  No.    Not  the  letter,  but  a  forged  copy  of  it. 

Simp.  Forgery — you  are  becoming  indiscreet. 

Jed.  J.  Oh,  no,  I'm  all  right,  (unfolding  letter)  Now,  Mr. 
Simpson,  the  original  letter  from  Mr.  Jedbury  authorises 
you  to  purchase  a  certain  quantity  of  ivory,  if  obtainable,  at 
five  thousand.  This — the  copy  you  made  to  show  to  the 
Rajah  — says  three  thousand  five  hundred  IMauaging  man's 
profit  (pointing  to  Simpson)  fifteen  hundred.  Barring  this 
little  discrepancy,  the  letters  are  identical.  Both  the 
original  and  this  are  .-signed  "  Christopher  Jedbury." 

Simp.   What  did  you  expect  to  prove  by  that  ? 

Jed.  J.  Nothing,  until  I  secured  your  receipt  from  the 
Rajah.  Here  it  is.  (shouis  paper)  You  have  sent  the  bogufl 
one  to  London,  (pause)  Weil,  I  am  waiting 

Simp.  Waiting  i 


CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR.  51 

Jed.  J.  Te^..  I  have  stntecl  the  case.  The  question  is, 
what  is  giiitig  t<>  he  done  ahout  it  1  Now,  go  ahiuicl,  and  let 
me  have  yi'ur  proposition. 

kSiMi'.  (asiile)  1*1  ojxi.sition.  He  wants  a  share.  Ah  \  (aloud) 
It  is  a  pity  that  in  niaUing  wliat  ym  term  your  discovery  you 
ehi'uld  have  assumed  so  hostile  a  manner.  It  viiijht  have  led 
to  serious  results.  In  f;ict.,  my  first  impulse  was  to  dis- 
charge you,  a><  you  know  I  have  full  power  to  do.  But  on 
second  thoughts — 

Jed.  J.   Ah,  second  thoughts  are  best,   (sits  n  c.) 

Simp,  (sits  l.c.)  1  say  on  stcond  thoughts  I  felt  I  should 
be  injuring  the  firm  by  robbing  them  of  a  really  bright 
young  man,  merely  to  gratify  a  personal  spite.  Therefore  I 
am  content  to  let  bygones  be  bygones,  and  moreover  to 
admit  you  into  a  sort  of  private  partnership.  First,  assuring 
you  that  the  trifling  irregularities  you  have  remarked  are 
strictly  in  the  way  of  legitimate  business.  This  is  my  pro- 
position.   What  do  you  say  to  it? 

Jed  J.  (qvietly)  Say  to  it  1  Oh  dear,  oh  dear.  Have  you 
any  idea  wh  itan  infernal  rogue  you  are  ?  (rises)  Now  you  go 
home  at  once  and  send  in  your  resisination,  or  in  twenty- 
four  hours  1  will  communicate  with  Mr.  Jedbury  myself. 

Simp,  (rising  ;  changing  tune)  Then  you  mean  to  tight,  do 
you? 

Jed.  J.  I  do. 

Simp,  (angrily)  You  little  know  your  employer  if  you 
think  that  your  accusations  can  weigh  against  my  fifteen 
years  of  hard  service.      My  word  will  stand  before  yours, 

Jed.  J.   (aside  ;  perplexed)  I  am  afraid  it  will . 

Simp,  (londly)  I  can  discharge  you  this  instant  and  give 
any  reason  I  choose  to  manufacture.  To-day  I  will  make 
you  the  talk  of  Bombay,  and  to-morrow  have  you  hounded 
irom  the  town. 

Jed.  J.  (aside  quickly)  What  shall  I  do  ?  Sink  with  the 
ship  1  Nc,  1 11  keep  it  floating.  There's  only  one  way,  and 
here  goes.  (alovA)  So  you  think  that  you  can  appeal  to  your 
enipJoy  r.  What  if  your  employer  has  already  suspected  you  1 
V\  hat  if  he  sent  six  months  ago  a  spy  to  report  to  him  as  to 
I  he  truth  of  his  suspicions?  (Simpson  starts)  Are  you  still  as 
blind  as  you  were  when  that  spy  arrived  ?  The  young  clerk 
«al]iny  'limself  Arthur  Blank,  who  now  discharges  you  in  his 
leal  11  m  ,  and  in  the  name  of  the  firm.  I  am  Christopher 
Jedbury  Junior,  snn  of  your  employer,  (points  o.)    Now  go. 

Simp,  (enraged)  A  lie  1 

CUKTAIN. 


ACT  IV. 

Six  Weeks  Lateb. 

Scene. — Same  as  Act  III.,  with  slightly  different  arrange* 
ment  of  furniture  ;  screen  near  piano  ;  small  table  L.o. 

DoEA.  {at  desk)  What  is  the  matter  with  me  to-day  ?  I 
have  a  fearful  attack  of  blues.  Well,  the  prospect  is  not 
cheering.  And  yet  it  is  no  worse  than  it  has  been  for  the 
last  three  years,  {takes  paper  from  desk,  scans  it)  Yes,  three 
years,  {looking  up)  My  marriage  contract.  I  wonder  if  I 
could  find  you,  Mr. — Mr. — {looks  at  paper) — Mr.  Bellaby. 
{looks  up)  But  I  don't  want  to  find  you,  that's  the  trouble. 
(pauses)  I  have  a  good  mind  to  confide  in  uncle,  {shakes  her 
head)  ISo  1  Dear  old  uncle  !  He  would  only  want  to  kill 
somebody,  and  think  of  the  talk— the  scandal.  No,  no  ! 
{puts  paper  away,  and  closes  desk)  Better  let  it  alone,  {goes 
to  piano,  sits  and  strikes  a  feiv  chords) 

Enter  Jed.  J.  o. ;  he  goes  to  chair  bach  of  screen. 

Jed.  J.  I  wonder  if  I  shall  get  a  letter  from  Tom  Bellaby 
to-day  ?    I  oan't  bear  this  suspense  any  longer. 

Doha,  {to  herself)  I  may  as  well  be  candid  with  myself, 
and  own  up  what  is  the  matter.     It  is  Christopher  I 

Jed.  J.  {hearing  his  n  nne)  Eh  ?  {listens ;  peers  round  the 
screen  and  gives  a  satisfied  sigh) 

Dora.  I  dreamed  of  him  last  night.  I  thought  he  was 
ill,  wounded,  and  I  was  nursing  him.  I  was  bandaging 
his  forehead,  and  we  were  so  happy,  {sighs)  At  least  1  was. 
I  wish  the  dream  would  come  true,  {music)  It  is  so  delight- 
ful to  minister  to  those  we  love. 

Jed.  J.  That  settles  it.  {produces  handkerchief,  folds  it 
bandage  fashion  and  binds  it  on  his  head) 

Dora.  But  Christopher  is  so  wretchedly  healthy,  {she 
drums  on  the  piano)  Strong  as  a  lion — he'll  die  of  old  age  ! 

Jkd.  J.  If  I  have  my  choice  he  will. 

Dora.  Old   age  !     Dreadful    thought  1     (plays  and  sings) 

"  Falling  leaf  and  fading  tree, 
Lines  of  white  in  a  sullen  sea. 
Shadows  rising  on  you  and  me  ; 
The  swallows  are  making  them  ready  to  fly, 
Wheeling  out  on  a  windy  sky. 
Good-bye,  summer,  good-bye,  good-bye  ! 
Good-bye  to  hope,  good-bye,  good-bye  I'* 


CHEISTOPHER  JUKIOR.  53 

WJten  she  commences  Jed.  J.  peeps  over  screen  and  listens  ; 
at  the  last  ''good-bye"  ahe  stops  with  a  crash,  and  falls  cry- 
ing on  the  piano  ;  Jed.  J.  comes  from  behind  the  screen. 

Jed.  J.  (pulling  her  hands  from  before  her  face)  Now  don'fc, 
dear  !  Please  don't !  Dora,  Dora, — (she  looks  up  quickly)  I 
mean  Auntie,  don't  now,  there's  a  dear  girl — I  mean  there's  a 
good  old  person. 

Dora,  (jumping  up)  Don't  what  1  Why,  I  was  just  enjoy- 
ing a  good  old  laugh,  (laughs  in  forced  manner) 

Jed.  J.  Ha,  ha,  ha  I  What  was  the  joke  ?  (she  continues  to 
force  a  laugh — he  also  affecting  to  laugh)  Awfully  funny,  to 
be  sure. 

Dora,  (catching  sight  of  the  bandage)  Good  gracious,  what's 
the  matter  ? 

Jed.  J.  Which  1  Where  ?  (Dora  points  to  his  head  ;  affect- 
ing iveakness)  Oh,  nothing  much.  I've  had  a  slight  accident, 
that's  all. 

Dora,  (aside)  Extraordinary — my  dream  !  (crosses  to  him) 
Does  it  hurt  you  much  ?  (touches  bandage) 

Jed.  J    Ouch  !  Yes,  but  I  will  try  and  bear  it  I 

Dora.  You  are  faint  I 

Jed.  J.  Am  I  ?    (she  takes  him  to  chair  L.o.) 

Dora.  Stay  here.  I  will  fetch  you  some  smelling  salts, 
poor  fellow,  (she  goes  to  door  behind  screen ;  he  is  about  to 
follow)  No,  sit  still.   I  won't  be  a  moment,  (exit  at  door  r.  ) 

Jed.  J.  (pushing  up  the  bandage  so  that  it  rests  tur-ban 
fashion  on  his  head)  No,  thanks.  No  smelling  salts.  I  think 
I'll  go.  (as  he  starts  up  o.  voices  are  heard  off)  By  Jove  !  I 
know  that  voice. 

He  peeps  off,  then  rushes  behiiid  screen  as  Mr.  and  Mrs, 
Jedbury  and  Nelly  enter  c.  Tfiey  are  folloived  by 
Whimper. 

Nelly.  We  are  all  right,  mamma,  I  have  sent  our  cards  to 
Major  Hed  way.  (remains  up  looking  off  L. c. ) 

Jed.  J.  (behind  screen)  My  entire  family,  by  all  that's  un- 
expected. How  am  I  to  esca^je  ? 

Mrs.  J    (r.c.)  Whimper! 

Whimp.  (c.)  Yes,  ma'am. 

Mrs.  J.  My  compliments  to  your  master,  and  I  think  it 
would  have  been  more  polite  to  have  written  the  Major  that 
we  were  coming. 

Jed.  S.  (l.o.)  Whimper  ! 

Whimp.  (unthotit  moving)  Yes,  sir. 

Jed.  S.  When  I  require  any  advice  from  your  mistress, 
I  will  ask  for  it. 

Whimp.  {turning  his  head  to  Mrs,  J.  and  giving  the  least 


64  CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR. 

ifliKjh)  Mr.  Jedbury  thanks  you  for  the  suggestion,  ma'am, 
but  thinks  the  present  manner  of  announcement  will  l)e 
satisfactory. 

Jep.  J.  lifts  the  screen  and  carries  it  in  front  of  him, 
backing  till  he  reaches  door  R.  ;  he  then  drops  screen 
noiselessly  and  exits  door  R.  ;  he  should  not  make  any 
noise  with  screen. 

Jed.  S.  {icJio  has  seen  the  screen  move)  Bless  my  soul ! 
Nelly,  (coming  down  slightly)  What  is  the  matter,  papal 
Mrs.  J.  {pointing  to  Jed.  S.)  Whimper — sunstroke. 

Whimper  steps  forivard. 

Jed.  S.  (irritably)  Whimper — mind  your  own  business. 

Nelly,  (r.c,  soothing  her  father)  I  am  just  dying  to  see 
Christopher.  I  am  sure,  pnpa,  that  you  never  thcjught  he 
would  have  acted  with  so  much  discretion. 

Jed.  S.  When  I  am  in  fault,  Nelly,  I  have  the  justice  to 
acknowledge  it. 

Nelly  goes  up  and  looks  off  L.c.  again. 

Mrs.  J.  Whimper,  you  can  remind  your  master  that  I 
knew  he  was  in  fault  all  along. 

Enter  Dora  hurriedly  with  smelling  salts. 

Dora.  Good  gracious  !  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Jedbury,  how  do 
you  do  ?  (shaking  hands)  Have  you  seen  Christopher  ? 

Jed.  S.  Not  yet.  We  have  this  moment  arrived.  My 
dear  young  lady,  we  can  never  thank  you  enough  for  the 
information  your  letters  contained  ! 

Nelly  coming  doton  on  tiptoe  from  e.g.,  and  clasping 
her  hands  over  Dora's  eyes. 

Dora,  (c.)  It  is  Nelly— this  is  a  surprise.  But  where  ia 
your  brother  ?  I  Itrft  him  here  not  five  minutes  ago.  He  is 
ill — I  am  afraid — that  is — 

Mrs  J.  My  son  ill  !  Oh,  retribution  !  Whimper,  tell 
your  master  it  is  a  judgment  upon  him  ! 

Jei>.  S.  (doun  L. )  Whimper,  if  your  mistress  insists  on 
making  a  fool  of  herself,  let  her  go  outsii'.e  and  do  it. 

Whimf  (toithout  mocing)  Mr.  Jtjdbury  suggests  that  you 
might  like  a  stroll  on  the  verandah,  ma'am. 

Enter  Job  l. 

Job.  (up  c.  ;  to  Mr.  and  Mrs  J.)  Major  Hedway's  com- 
pliments, sir,  and  will  yuu  have  the  goodness  to  step  this 
way?  (Mrs.  J.  turns  up  and  exits  at  back  followed  by 
Whimper) 


CHRISTOPUER   JUNIOll.  55 

Jed.  S.  (paiising  at  exit ;  looking  at  Job)  Dear  me,  we  have 
surely  met  before. 

Job.  (embarrassed)  Yes,  sir.  In  London.  I'm  Job,  sir. 
Job  Smith. 

Jed.  S.  Mr.  Smith,  of  course,  Christopher's  friend.  Very 
glad  to  renew  your  acquaintance,  {he  sluikes  hanvls  violently 
and  further  embarrasses  Job  as  they  exennt  L.  back) 

Nelly.  They  are  gone — now  we  can  have  a  nice  long  chat. 
(Nelly  sits  on  stool  c.  ;  Dora  on  chair  R.  of  table)  Isn't  it 
delightful  that  papa  and  Christopher  are  going  to  be  friends 
again  1    And  it's  all  your  doing  1 

Dora.  Mine  I 

Nelly,  Of  course.  I  showed  papa  your  letters,  and  he 
determined  to  come  and  investigate.  Then  I  wanted  to  see 
you  so  much,  that  I  teased  him  till  he  agreed  to  make  it  a 
family  party.  Dear  old  Chris,  he  was  too  proud  to  write  ; 
didn't  he  keep  his  secret  well  1  I  longed  to  tell  you  who 
Mr.  Blank  really  was,  but  I  didn't  dare.  And  what  has 
made  you  change  your  mind  about  the  convent  ? 

Dora.  Well,  dear,  uncle  didn't  approve  of  it.  But, 
Nelly,  you  have  not  said  a  word  about  your—  about  your — 
Hance. 

Nelly.  No.  I  am  saving  him  till  the  last.  Oh,  I'm  so  happy, 
Dora,  and  he  is  with  us,  you  know. 

Dora.  What? 

Nelly.  Yes.  It  was  his  vacation,  and  I  wouldn't  let  papa 
rest  till  he  had  invited  him  to  come,  {rising  and  taking  her 
hand)  Come  and  let  me  introduce  you.  He  thinks  he 
remembers  catching  just  a  glimpse  of  you  at  my  birthday 
ball.     Do  you  remember  him  ? 

Dora,  {goes  to  door  r.c  )  How  do  I  know,  when  you  have 
never  mentioned  his  name  ? 

Nelly.   Haven't  I  ? 

Dora.  No.  You  always  say  "he "as  if  there  were  only 
one  man  in  the  world. 

Nelly.  Oh  well  1 — you  shall  see  him,  {going  to  door,  calls) 
Tom  ! 

Dora,  {aside)  Tom  I    How    I   hate    that  name  1    {ci'osse:* 

to  R.c.) 

Enter  Bellaby.     Nelly  brings  him  down  l. 

Nelly.  Tom,  this  is  my  dearest  friend  Dora — Miss  Med 
way.  Dora,  this  is  Tom — Mr.  Bellaby  1 

f>o&x  {astonished)  Bellaby— Mr.  Tom  Bellaby  V 

Bell,  {not  noticing  hi  r  agitation)  Delighted  to  meet  yju 
Nelly  has  talked  so  muuh  of  you. 

Dora,  {aside)  It  must  be  the  same  I 


56  CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR. 

Nellt.  Why,  Dora,  what's  the  matter? 

Dora.  Nothing !  I've  had  so  much  excitement  thia 
morning. 

Nelly.  I  want  you  two  to  be  very  good  friends. 

Bell.  I  shall  be  delighted  if  Miss  Hedway  will  permit  me. 
{offers  his  hand) 

Dora,  (aside,  ignoring  his  hand)  We  shall  either  be  excel- 
lent friends  or  excellent  enemies,  {crosses  to  L.) 

Bell,  {aside,  disconcerted)  What  can  she  mean?  (l.c.) 

Nelly,  {to  Dora)  He  is  so  clever — such  a  lawyer.  He  has 
won  every  case  he  has  had,  so  far. 

Bell.  Rather,  I  think  I  have. 

Dora.  A  lawyer !  Oh,  then,  Nelly,  I  want  to  consult 
him.     Can  1  not  see  him  a  few  minutes  alone  ? 

Nelly,  {in  amazement)  Alone  ?     Dora — 

Dora.  Yes,  it  is  something  very  important.  Something 
with  which  your  happiness  is  connected,  dearest.  Let  me  see 
him  for  five  minutes,  and  then  I  will  send  him  after  you. 

Nelly.  Tom  ! 

Bell.   Yes,  Nelly,  {crosses  c.) 

Nelly.  Miss  Hedway  wishes  to  consult  you  on  legal 
business. 

Bell,  {crosses  r.  ,  aside)  Another  case — my  second,  {crosses 
L.)  I  haven't  had  one  since  that  affair  of  Christopher's. 

Dora  rises  and  crosses  up  c.  with  Nelly. 

Nelly.  I  don't  often  leave  Tom,  dear,  {going)  A  girl  can't 
Bee  too  much  of  the  man  she's  going  to  marry.  {eo:its  c.) 

Dora.  No,  no,  she  can't,  {to  him)  Mr.  Bellaby,  you  are 
probably  surprised  at  my  seeking  a  private  interview  on  so 
short  an  acquaintance. 

Bell.  Not  at  all.  Miss  Hedway.  It's  a  matter  of  daily 
occurrence  in  our  profession. 

Dora,  {coming  do'ion  r.c.)  Indeed! 

Bell,  (l.o.)  We  lawyers  are  used  to  receiving  all  sorts  of 
confidences. 

Dora.  But  this  is  a  case  in  which  you  will  be  expected  to 
give  confidence. 

Bell.  {raUier  c  stonished)  Really? 

Dora.  You  are  engaged  to  be  married  to  my  friend.  Miss 
Jedbury. 

Bell.  I  have  that  honour. 

Dora.  But  are  you  sure  you're  not  married  already  ?  Now 
be  careful  how  you  answer  ! 

Bell.  Married  already  ?  No,  we  shall  not  be  married  till 
the  autumn.  What  would  be  the  use  of  a  secret  marriage  ? 

DobjL  (severely)  Then  you    do   not     approve    of  secret 


CHRISTOPHER  JUNIOR.  57 

marringps?  {he  Ionics  amazed)  Or  irregular  marriages?  Or 
niJiMiages  at  all  out  of  the  ordinary  line  ? 

Bell.   Certainly  not  I 

Dora.  Then  your  first  wife  is  not  living  ?  Now  be  careful 
how  you  answer. 

Bell,  {taking  it  as  a  joke)  My  Hrst  wife  I  Well,  not  if  I 
know  it ! 

Dora.  Ah,  I  see — you  don't  knoxo! 

Bell.  ]\Iy  experiencH  is,  that  if  a  man's  wife  is  alive,  she 
generally  lets  him  know  it ! 

Dora.  You  confess  then  that  you  have  been  married 
before  ? 

Bell.  I  have  no  recollection  of  such  an  event. 

Dora.  Your  name  is  Bellaby — you  are  sure  of  that  % 

Bell.   I  will  take  my  atlidavit. 

Dora.  And  your  Christian  name  is — do  I  clearly  under- 
stand that  your  Christian  name  is —  ?  {making  an  effort  to 
pronounce  d — fails) 

Bell,  {taking  card  fmm  case)  Tom  Bellaby.  Rather  an 
unusual  name.  T.O.M.  Bellaby.  The  only  one  in  the  London 
Directory. 

Dora,  {taking  card  and  looking  at  it).  The  same  name — 
the  same  address  that  he  gave  before,  {shows  great  emotion 
and  drops  in  chair  l.  of  the  screen) 

Bell,  {aside)  What  is  the  matter  with  her?  {to  Dora) 
Shall  I  get  you  anything — a  glass  of  water — smelling  salts  ? 

Dora.  Nothing — nothing,  {rises  and  crosses  a  little  np  c, 
then  douni)  And  you,  sir,  can  calmly  lead  that  innocent  girl 
to  the  altar,  knowing — as  a  lawyer  you  must  know — that  you 
are  married  to  another  ? 

Bell,  {amazed)  Another?     What  do  you  mean  ? 

Dora.  Do  you  happen  to  remember  your  visit  to  Trinidad  ? 

:Bell.  Trinidad? 

Dora.   Ah,  you  do  remember  Trinidad  1 

Bell.  I've  seen  it  on  the  map. 

Dora.  Perhaps  you  remember  signing  a  contract,  which 
married  you  to  a  young  girl — Matilda  Dwyer  ? 

Bell,  (l.c.)  Matilda  Dwyer  ?  {beginning  to  take  in  the 
silvatiun;  aside)  Oh,  Christopher  ! 

Dora,  (c.)  You  do  recall  it !    I  am  Matilda  Dwyer  ! 

Bell.  Good  gracious  !  {aside)  What  was  the  name  that 
Christopher  used  ?  Ah,  I  remember  !  It  was  Glibb  !  (aloud) 
You  are  Matilda  Dwyer,  are  you  ?  Then  you  are  confusing 
me  with  someone  else.  Your  name  is  Glibb.  {approaching 
her) 

Dora,  {astonished)  Glibb?  What  do  you  mean,  sir  ?  Don't 
touch  me  1  {backs  a  little  to  k.c.) 


58  CHKISTOrilER   JUNIOR. 

Bell.  I  had  no  int.nMon  of  touching,  Miss  Dwyerl 
Dora.   My  nnnio  is  Hinlway  ! 

15ELL.  Just  now  you  said  it  was  Dwyer  I  Now  be  careful 
how  you  answor. 

Dora.   So  it  was— Matilda  Dora  Dwyor  1 
Bell.  Tlion  how  are  yon  Miss  Hodway  1 
DoUA.   Wlion  my  fatlior  died,  I  assumed  my  uncle's  name 
—  it  enabled  me  t.)  ccmceal  my  identity  from  yon.   (crosses  L.) 
Bell.    Why  didn't  you  continue  to  cnceal  your  identity  1 
Dora.   Because   T    found    that  you   were  to   become  the 
husband   of    my  dear  friend    Nelly.    She  knows  nothing- 
poor  t;irl — absolutely  nothing  ! 

Bell.  I  beg  pardon.  Nelly  is  a  very  well  informed  young 
lady. 

Dora,  (talcing  paper  from  desk  R.c.)  She'll  be  a  better 
informed  young  lady  presently.  I'll  show  her  this  marriage 
contract. 

Bell,  (crossing  to  R.c.  ;  lakimj  paper  and  looking  at  it ; 
aside)  My  name— in  Cliris's  handwriting — So  i'm  the  friend 
whose  caixl  ho  gave,  and  whose  name  he  borrowed — not 
Glibb.   I'd  like  to  pay  him  out  for  this. 

Dora.  (l.c.  takin^i  domvient  again)  Well,  sir? 
Bell,  (so-ionsly)  Miss  Hedway,  I  was  ?ieuer  in  Trinidad — I 
never  signed  that  docununt — the  man  who  did  sign  it  assured 
me  that  the  name  was  Glibb. 

Dora.  Glibb  !  (sinks  into  chair  L.  of  table) 

Enter  Olibb  c.  as  though  looking  for  sc-mcthinq.    He  takes 

no  notice  of  tlie  (■thers,  but  looks  over  things  on  table,  etc. 

After  Gi.ir.B   iralks  dou'n  sloivly  Dora  rises  and  goes 

L.C.     She  continttes,  aside  to  Bellaby. 

Dora.  And  do  you  mean  to  tell  mo   that  the  person  who 

falsely  signed  your  name  to  that  paper  is  that  harmless  man 

who  WiS  never  known  to  speak  a  word  against  a  human  being 

in  his  life  ? 

Bell,  (rc.)  But  he  »<Toft>  this.  I  merely  repeat  what  I 
was  told. 

Dora.   What  is  he  looking  for  1 

Bell.  Peihaps  he  is  looking  for  his  tongue. 

Dora  yues  to  Mii.  (>libb,  takes  him  by  the  hand  and  pnlls 
him  down  0.      lie  is  frightened. 
Dora.  Tell  me  the  truth,  I  implore  you,  if  you  have  never 
told  it  in  your   life   before,  (/tc  exltibits  great  astonishnient) 
Were  you  ever  iii  Trinidad  ? 

Glibi!  qazes  at  her  in  amazement  and  tries  to  get  free,  and 
walks  rapidly  and  then  rnns,  she  after  him,  ron)aI  the 
room  at  back,  tiien  to  L. ;  then  exit  Glibb  rapidly  h. 
^lightened  to  death  ;  Dora  leans  against  door. 


CHEISTOPIIER   JUNIOR.  59 

Bell,  (mho  has  been  lanrjlihig  R.c.)  Miss  Hedway,  let  me 
Bet  you  ri<;ht.  The  pf-rson  who  signed  that  document,  using 
my  n;iine  instead  of  his  own,  waa — 

r)OKA.   (amiinfj  C.)  Was — ? 

Bell.  Not  Glibb.  Vjut  Cliristopher  Jedbury. 

DoKA.   (l.C.)  Christopher  Jed liury  ! 

Bkll.  He  told  me  thit  he  used  tlie  name  of  Glibb,  but  thi^ 
document  proves  that  he  used  mine. 

DoKA.  {ov/>rco7ne)  Christopher  Jedbury  ?  (chair  k.  oflnhU 
L.)  Christopher  Jedbury,  you  .say  ?  Christ^.pher  Jedl>ury 
is  my  husband  ?  (rises)  Has  he  any  suspicion  that  1  am  \\i^ 
wife  ? 

Bkll.  Not  the  lea,st  in  the  world, 

DouA.  (at  if  a  sudden  fear  had  seized  her,  crosses  c.  quickly) 
Is  it—  the  old  man — or  the  young  ? 

Dell.  Jedbury  Junior,  (slie  gives  a  sigh  of  relief;  h", 
tmUis) 

DoKA  (aside)  The  darlii>g— the  wretch  !  He  deserves  to 
bp  puni.shed.  (atwul)  Promise  me  you  will  not  tell  him  you 
have  made  this  discovery. 

Bell.  I  promise  you  (Jed's  voice  heard),  but  look  (point- 
iiuj  init  back),  he  is  coming.     You  can  tell  him  yourself. 

Dora,  {embarrassed)  No,  not  just  yet.  (aside,  crosses  R.) 
He  would  read  the  joy  in  my  face.  (asvJe  to  Bell)  You 
won't  tell  him,  will  you  ?  (confus'dly)  I  am  coming  back  in 
a  minute — presently — (aside)  I  must  have  a  moment — to 
think — to  thiuk— all  alone.  Oh,  Jlr.  Bellaby.  (exit  door  K.) 

Enter  Jed.  J.  from  verandah. 

Jed.  J.  (coming  down  c.  indifferently)  Hallo,  old  man- 
how  are  you  ? 

Bell,  (l.c.)  Well,  of  all  the  cool  customers  you  are  the 
most  friijid.  (they  shake  hands) 

Jed.  j.  (r.c.)  Nothing  of  the  sort.  I  have  never  regi.stered 
less  than  eighty  since  1  landed  in  this  balmy  climate.  Don'- 
say  a  word  till  I  get  it  off  my  mind.  I  am  head  and  ears  in 
love  I    Phew  I  th  it's  done  I  (sits  L.c.) 

Bell.  Chri.s,  old  man,  I'm  with  y.u  ! 

Jed.  j.  But  why  haven't  you  written  me  all  these  months  '! 
Have  you  found  her  ?    Is  she  dead  or  alive  ? 

Bell.  She?  Who? 

Jed.  J.   There's  only  one  she'  Matilda,  of  coarse  ! 

Bell.  Oh,  ^latilda  ?  She's  dead — died  of  delirium  tremens 
in  the  Sandwich  Islands.  Pai  ticulars  in  my  trunk.  Sorry 
for  you.  old  man,  awfully  sorry  for  you.  (runs  o^d  by 
verandah  L.) 

Jed.  J    Slatilda  dead— and  he's  sorry  for  me  1    (claps  his 


60  CHRISTOPHER  JUNIOR. 

hands  wildly)  Dead  1  Oil,  I'm  the  happiest  m-in  on  earth. 
(dances)  Matilda  (bloxriug  a  kiss  to  the  ceiling)  I  wish  you  the 
complimeuts  of  the  season.  I  hope  you  have  a  happy  f  utui-e 
before  you.  Oh,  Matilda,  Matilda  1  {capers  about  K.  with 
chair) 

DoKA  enters  L. 

Dora.  Really,  Mr.  Jedbury,  your  conduct  is  extra 
ordinary,  (aside)  I've  borrowed  some  of  uncle's  discipline  ! 
{(joesc.) 

Jed.  J.  Wait,  Dora — I  may  call  you  Dora  this  once — I'm 
Bo  happy.  She's  dead  1  (dances)  It's  my  natural  state  of 
mind.     I'm  celebrating  the  arrival  of  my  family. 

Dora,  (coldly)  You  appear  to  be  very  fond  of  your  family  I 
(aside)  I'm  doing  beautifully  ! 

Jeu.  J.  Oh,  Dora— I  may  call  you  Dora  just  this  once — it 
isn't  that.  My  troubles  are  all  over.  I've  buried  them  ! 

Dora,  (pei-plexed)  Buried  them  ? 

Jed.  J.  Yes.  They  died  of  delirium  tremens  in  the  Sand- 
wich Islands. 

Dora.   What  on  earth  are  you  talking  about  1 

Jed.  J.  Oh,  Dora — I  may  call  you  Dora  this  once— if  I  tell 
you,  you  will  hate  me  ! 

Dora,  (tenderly)  No,  I  won't  1  I — I— couldn't  {aside 
pidling  herself  together)  H'ra  !  discipline  1 

J  ED.  J.   Sit  down  then  !  (places  cJiair) 

DoRA.  (sitting  R.  by innno)l'm  glad  Nelly  has  coiae.  You 
need  someone  near  you  ! 

Jed.   J.  (putting  his  chair  nearer)  Yes. 

Dora,  (witkdratving  hers  a  little)  A  sister — 

Jed.  J.   Well,  not  precisely  a  sister,  don't  you  know  1 

Dora.  Then  perh-ps  a  maiden  aunt  might  do  1 

Jed.  J.  Say  a  maiden,  without  the  aunt. 

Dora.   We  won't  be  particular  about  the  relationship  1 

Jed.  J.  Excuse  me,  1  know  you'll  excuse  me,  but  we  will 
be  particular  about  the  relationship.  I've  got  all  the  female 
relations  I  want,  excepting  one. 

Dora.  And  that  is—  ? 

Jed.  J.  A  wife  (rises;  sitsonpiano) 

Dora,  (pretending  to  misunderstand)  I  see.  You  haven't 
been  able  to  persuade  any  woman  to  accept  you.  (sits  on 
piano) 

Jed.  J.  Oh,  Dora— I  may  call  you  Dora  just  this  once. 
Let  me  explain.  Now,  you  think  I'm  a  bad  fellow,  dissi- 
pated, and — 

Dora.  Think  ?  Oh  no,  I  don't  think  1 

Jed  ,  J.  You  mean  that  you  know  it.  (turns  away  offended^ 
DoEA  stretches  out  her  hands  affectionately  behind  his  back,  he 


CHKISTOPIIEU   JUNIOR.  61 

turns  suddenly,  and,  to  her  confusion,  seizes  her  hands)  I  accept 
your  apology,  {tenderly)  Dora—let  me  call  you  Dora  this 
once— please  be  friends  with  me,  for  I  am  not  a  drunkard, 
nor  a  gambler,  and — Oh,  Dora,  I've  been  in  love  with  you 
ever  since  I  first  saw  you,  and  the  only  reason  I  never  told 
you  before  was  because — because — 

Dora.  Because  ? 

Jed.  J.  Because  I  was  married  already  ! 

Dora,  (with  pretended  horror)  Mr.  Jedbury.  (aside)  Poor 
fellow. 

Jed.  J.  (vrith  eagerness)  But  she's  dead,  Dora,  she's 
dead? 

Dora,  (puzzled)  Dead? 

Jed.  J.  Yes,  she  died  of  sandwiches— in  delirium  tremens 
—I  don't  know  what  she  died  of,  but  I  do  know  that  she's 
defunct.     Gone  to  a  better  world  ! 

Dora.  How  do  you  know  that— that — she  is  defunct  ? 

Jed.  J.  Bellaby  told  me  so  ! 

Dora,  (astonished)  Bellaby  told  you  so  ? 

Jed  J.  Oh,  yes,  he's  in  my  confidence.  Capital  fellow. 
(taking  herhatid)  But,  Dora,  don't  keep  me  in  suspense  1 

Dora,  {h.c,  tenderly)  I  won't  \  (stcddenly  remembering  her- 
self) Unhand  me.  sir. 

Jed.  J.  (r.c.,  releasing  her)  There,  Dora,  now  you  are 
unhanded. 

Dora.  How  dared  you  make  love  to  me,  while  you  were  a 
married  man?     Why  didn't  you  go  to  your  wife  ? 

Jed.  J.  (confused)  I — I— shouldn't  have  known  where  to 
find  her  1 

Dora.  Why  didn't  you  look  for  her  ? 

Jed.  J.  What  was  the  use  ?  I  shouldn't  have  known  her  ! 

Dora.  Ah  !  Your  cruelty  effected  a  change  in  her  appear- 
ance. 

Jed  J.  Very  likely — that  is  I  don't  know,  (aside)  How 
the  deuce  can  I  say  that  I  never  saw  her  ?  She  wouldn't 
believe  me. 

Dora,  (with  moch  bcverity)  So,  you  deserted  her? 

Jed.  J.  Oh,  no,  I  didn't  desert  her.  She — she — that  is — 
^e — we  got  separated  before  we  were  married,  you  know  1 

Dora    You  mean  that  she  deserted  you  ? 

Jed.  J.  (jumping  at  the  solution)  Exactly.  No,  that  isn't 
it.  The  fact  is,  we  deserted  each  other.  You  see,  she 
couldn't  help  it.  She  was  forced  into  the  match  by  a  crazy 
old  father  ! 

Dora,  (aside)  That's  right.  But  I  must  punish  him  a 
little  more,  (aloud)  Mr.  Jedbury,  did  I  ever  give  you  the 
slightest  encouragement  ? 


62  CHEISTOPHER  JUNIOR. 

Jed.  J.  (humbly)  No,  Dora. 

Dora,  {u-ith  dignity)  Miss  Hedway,  if  you  please. 
Jed.  J.  Yes,   Miss  Hedway— I  mean  No,  Miss  Hedway. 
(gnlps  dowii  the  word) 

DoKA.  D.dn't  it  ever  occur  to  you  that   I  had  the  best 
reason  in  the  world  for  not  doing  so  ? 

Jed.  J.  (.same  6ms.)  Yes,  Miss  Doorway— No,  Miss  Hed- 
way {c/idps  as  before) 

DoKA.  Then  I  will  tell  you  that  I  am  married  already  1 

Jed.  J.  Married  ?  Married  to  whom  1 

Dora.  To  your  friend  Mr.  Bellaby^Mr.  Tom  Bellaby  ! 

Jed  J.  Bellaby — Bellaby  1  {staggers,  overcome,  leans  against 
table) 

Dora  {alarmed)  Chri.s —  {catches  him  by  the  u^-ist) 

Jed  J.  {imitating  her  manner)  Unhand  me,  Madame  ! 

Dora,  {aside,  laughing)  Pr, or  fellow  !  {aloud,  imitating  hit 
manner)  Now,  you  are  unhanded. 

Jed.  J.  {recovering)  Married— to  Bellaby  1 

Dora.  To  Mr.  Tom  Bellaby. 

Jed.  J.  And  yet  the  earth  revolves  on  its  axis.  To  Bellaby, 
I  think  you  said  ? 

Dora.  Yes. 

Jed.  J.  When? 

Dora.  That  is  my  business. 

Jed.  J.  Where  ? 

Dora.  That  is  his  business. 

Jed.  J.  How  1 

Dora.  That  is  our  business.  If  you  don't  believe  it,  ask 
Mr.  Bellaby  ! 

Jed.  J.  Ask  him  ?    I'll — I'll  exterminate  him  ! 

Dora.  Very  well.  Let  me  know  when  you  get  finished. 
In  the  meantime,  I  wish  you  good  morning,  {exit  r.u.e.) 

Enter  Bellaby  by  verandah,  c.l. 

Bell,  {coming  doimi  c.  ;  aside)  Now  toget  even  with  him. 
{aloud)  Where's  Nelly  1    I  can't  find  her  1 

Jed.  J.  (r.c)  Scoundrel! 

Bell,  (l.c.)  What's  the  matter  ? 

Jed.  J.  How  dare  you  ask  where 's  Nelly  ?  I  have  just 
had  a  conversation  with  your  wife  ! 

Bell,  {^puzzled)  My  wife  ?  (a  light  breaks  in  rip  on  him;  he 
laughs  heartily) 

Jed.  J.  {aside)  And  he  can  laugh  !  {aloud)  Well,  sir,  I 
tan  laugh  as  well  as  you.  {laiujlis  mtchanically)  Ha,  ha,  ha  ! 

Bell.  So  she  told  you  herself,  did  she?  {laytiig  his  hand 
familiarly  on  his  shoiddtr) 

Jed.  J.  {removing  the  hand  with  exaggerated  diynity)    She 


CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR.  63 

did  f  Why  couldn't  you  have  acted  as  a  man,  and  told  me 
months  acjo  1 

Bell.  Tell  you  months  ago— how  could  I  ?  I  didn't  know 
it. 

Jed.  J.  Didn't  know  it?  Why,  you  unblushing  hypocrite, 
how  could  you  be  married  without  knowing  it  f  Don't 
attempt  to  lie  out  of  it.  Of  course  you  depended  on  my 
not  finding  it  out.  She  told  me  herself  that  you  were  her 
husband. 

Bell.  She  did,  did  she  ?  Well  (with  blustering  air)  I  am 
her  husband  and  that's  all  there  is  about  it.  (down  l.o.) 

Jed.  J.  i^nd  this  wretch  can  talk  in  this  calm  way  about 
it.  Are  your  senses  taking  leave  of  you,  or  are  mine  ? 
(up  stage) 

Bell.  Yours,  dear  boy,  yours.  Try  to  be  calm  and  cool 
while  I  tell  you  that  your  sister  Nelly  and  I — ■ 

Jed.  J.  (dovm)  You  villain,  don't  you  presume  to  mention 
my  Bister  Nelly  again  in  the  same  breath  with  yourself. 

Bell,  (pretending  to  get  angry)  I  had  Intended  telling  you 
all  about  your  wife.  I  thought  you'd  perhaps  like  to  know 
where  she  is  ! 

Jed  J.  Where  she  is  ?  You  told  me  she  was  dead.  How 
can  I  know  where  she  is  ? 

Bell.  Yes,  I  didn't  like  to  tell  you  all  at  once,  but  since 
you're  making  such  a  fool  of  yourself  all  because  of  a  little 
peccadillo  of  mine — 

Jed.  J.  Peccadillo — Great  Heaven! — here's  a  man  married 
to  one  woman,  making  love  to  another,  and  he  calls  that  a 
peccadillo. 

Bell.  Aren't  you  married  to  one  woman,  and  haven't  you 
been  making  love  to  another  ? 

Jed.  J.  That's  a  very  different  affair  ! 

Bell.  You're  married  to  Matilda  Dwyer,  and  you've  been 
making  love  to — (pause) — to  my  wife,  confound  you  ! 

Jed.  J.  But  you  just  told  me  my  wife  was  dead.  That 
she  died  of  tremendous  sandwiches  in  the  Delirium  Islands. 

Bell.  That  was  only  my  little  joke.  I've  bad  news  for 
you.  Your  wife  is  alive  ! 

Jed.  J.  Alive  !    Matilda  alive — my  brain  is  spinning  ! 

Bell.  Yes.  Matilda's  alive,  and  what's  worse,  she's  m  this 
very  house. 

Jed.  J.  Where  ? 

Bell,  (tryinq  to  conceal  his  laughter)  Find  out.  If  you'd 
treated  me  decently  I  migh^  have  helped  you,  but  instead 
of  that,  I  am  a  scoundrel.      Where  is  she  ?    Find  out.     And 

if  you  dare  to  make  love  to  my  wife  again (shakes  his 

Ast  in  Jed.  J.'s  face  and  goes  up  c. ) 


64  CHRISTOPIIEH   JUNIOR. 

Jed.  J.  (fvll'nving  him  up)  And  if  you  dare  to  make  love 

to  my  sister {follows  him  tip  to  verandah  ;  exit  Bell4BV 

L.c. ;  Jed.  J.  remains  up,  looking  after  him) 

Jed.  S.  and  Major  enter  door  L. 

Jed.  S.  (l.o.)  Your  kindness  to  my  son  shall  never  be 

forgotten. 

Major.  Shure  it's  entirely  mutual,  {goes  up  K.  slightly) 
Jed  S.  {seeing  Gkris.)  Christopher,  my  son,  I've  taken  a 

long  journey  to  ask  your  forgiveness  t 

Enter  Mrs.  J. 

Jed.  J.  (coming  down  ;  extending  hand)  Don'fc  speak  of  it 
dad.  (Major  goes  up  r.) 

Mrs.  J.  My  son  !  My  dear  boy  i 

Jed.  J.  What,  mother  ! 

Jed.  S.  Whimper  I  No,  hang  it.  I  don't  want  him. 
{crosses  to  her)    Margaret,  I've  been  an  old  fool. 

Mrs.  J.  Christopher,  you  have. 

Enter  Bellaby,  Nelly,  and  Mrs.  Glibb  ;  theV 
are  followed  by  Mr«  Glibb  ;  they  are  all  listening 
to  Bellaby,  who  is  telling  them,  about  his  discovery » 
Bellaby  and  Nelly  go  r.  ;  Mrs.  Glibb  and  Mrs. 
J.  remain  together  L.o. 

GliiBB.  (slowly  and  deliberated)  Hoo — Hoo — ray  1  (coming 
O.  ;  all  start) 

Mrs.  G.  George,  you  chatterbox  1 

Jed.  J,  (astonished)  What's  the  row  ? 

Bell,  {approaching  him  r.c.)  I  have  some  news  I 

Jed.  J.  No  ?    Am  I  free  ? 

Enter  Dora  o. 

Bell.  On  the  contrary,  you  are  bound  and  fettered  for 
life — (Takes  Dora  by  the  hand  and  brings  her  to  Jed.  J.  o.)  to 
Matilda— Dora — Dvryer.  (returns  to  Nelly.) 

Jed.  J.  What,  you  are  not —  ? 

Dora,  (c)  Yes,  I  am  I 

Jed.  J.  (L.O.,  rapturously)  But  Bellaby  says — 

Dora.  That  his  name  is  on  my  marriage  contract.  So 
it  is  ! 

Jed.  J.  (rememhering)  What  an  idiot  I  am  !  Forgive  me, 
Tom,  for  borrowing  your  name.     I  was  driven  to  it  1 

Jed.  S.  Then  this  is  the  lady  you  married  ? 

Jed.  J.  Hush,  the  Major  doesn't  know  ! 

Major,  (coming  dotvn)  Indeed  !  And  what  is  it  the 
Major  doesn't  know  ? 

Jed.  J.  That  I  have  the  honour  to — • 


CHRISTOPHER   JUNIOR.  fif) 

Major.  To  bo  making  love  to  my  niece?  (laughs)  The 
sleei)ing  partner  has  had  a  wakeful  eye  on  you  for  some 

tlMlB. 

Jkd.  J.  Then  you  consent? 

M.uoR.  Yes.  VVitli  all  my  heart,  (beckoning  Jed.  S.  up 
si(i(je  wJiere  they  join) 

Jkd.  J.  (aside  to  Dora.)  You  won't  mind  going  through 
it  again  ? 

DoKA.  No.  But  this  time  I  shall  endeavour  to  be  present 
at  my  o«n  wedding. 

J  Kit  S.  (^o  Major  up  stage)  I  think  we  had  better  give 
him  c(jntrol  of  the  Bombay  house,  Major. 

Major  beckons  to  Jed.  S.  and  to  Mrs.  J.  and  Mrs.  G. 
They  nod  and  go  off  l.o.  Nellv  sees  the  Major's 
maiiiie.nvres  andpvlls  'QkIjI,'^,  slepve.  He  looks  at  Dora 
and  Jed.  J.  and  then  goes  off  vnth  Nelly  the  same  an 
thevtherii  have  done,  Glibb  is  now  standing  alone  up 
L.  gazing  at  nothing.  The  Major  motions  him  ;  he  pay- 
tu>  attention,  then  the  Major  leads  him  to  exit.  Glibb 
is  about  to  drop  behind  when  the  Major  seizes  his  arm, 
thrusts  him  off.  and  follows  himself.  Tliis  is  all  d.rni 
quietly  but  quickly,  while  Dora  and  Jed.  J.  are  talking 
inaudibly. 

Jed.  J.  (who  hasn't  seen  the  manoeuvres,  looks  at  the  floor) 
/ather,  you  make  me  feel  very  proud  - 1  should  day  that — 
w  h.it  I  mean  is  —(Dora  pidls  him  by  the  sleeve  ;  ht  looks  round, 
sets  that  they  are  all  gone)  He  doesn't  seem  *-o  be  here 
(neruously)  He  is  a  decent  sort  of  chap  after  all  1 

DoKA.  (nervoiislij)  Yes,  they  none  of  them  seem  to  be  here. 

Jed.  J.  (nervously)  Yes,  they  are  all  decent  f>'-«rt  of  chaps. 
(a  pause)  Dora — I  may  say  Dora  this  once  ? 

Dora.  Chris  1  (they  rush  into  each  other's  w^ns  as  curtain 
foLla) 

CUBIAIN. 


DATE  DUE 

CAVLORD 

PniNTEO  INU    S    A 

.-s 


